I
will never forget the faces of the
two boys who sat in front of me
in my seventh grade band class.
Geoff and Jon played saxophone.
I played trumpet. This was the year
that I began coming out to my friends
about my mom being a lesbian. Most of
my friends were supportive, or at the
very least indifferent. Somehow, Geoff
and Jon found out about my mom, and
I became a target. Every morning the
boys would say horrible things to me;
they called my mom names and accused
her of molesting me. I sat in silence for
several days. I don’t know why I allowed
them to get away with harassing me for
so long.
Perhaps I was still coming to terms
with my mom’s lesbianism, or maybe
I was too embarrassed to speak up. I
thought they would give up after awhile,
but they didn’t. I told my mom about
the situation, and she spoke to the
school. The boys were given detention
and wrote me apology letters. It was a
terrible experience for me, an awkward
pre-teen. I didn’t feel that I had the
support of the school or my teacher.
This event inspired me to get involved in
the LGBT community. I began speaking
at universities to future teachers and
therapists. I started doing media work to
educate others. I learned that the best
way to educate the world is to live life
openly and honestly.
Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed
about. There is no need for our families
to live in hiding. Having a lesbian mom
has taught me that there are two ways
to respond to homophobia: you can keep
silent and think that the world will never
change, or you can stand up and say,
“This is wrong and I’m going to change
the way the world works.”
Who I am is strongly connected to growing
up with a lesbian mom. I learned to be
strong, independent, and courageous. I
have moral and ethical values that are
deeply tied to the LGBT community. I
believe in the inherent worth and dignity
of all human beings, not just those who
conform to certain standards.
The world is changing; I’ve seen the
shifting take place during my lifetime.
This generation is going to come into
its own in the next few years. We must
decide what we want our cities, states,
countries and world to look like. It is
up to us to stand up in the face of fear
and say, “My experience and my family
are just as valid as anyone else’s.” I
plan on being there, representing my
own family. Whenever someone speaks
against gay marriage using children as
an excuse, I will be right there to say,
“I am one of the children, and I’m proud
of my mom.”
Shannon grew up in Felton, CA and now
attends San Jose State University for
creative writing. In high school she started
a group called Gaybies that worked with
other kids of LGBT parents and put out a
newsletter.
JUST FOR US
Folks in the COLAGE
community who are 2nd
Gen deal with not only
coming out about their
parents, but also their own
coming out. To explore
the different ways that
COLAGErs have dealt with
coming out, particularly
in communities of color,
Just For Us interviewed
Terrance about his
experiences.
Well, I am 20 years old and am an African American male. I have
been out with people since I was sixteen. I found out my dad
was gay when I was seven. Once I came out, I started joining
different peer groups and am very active with an HIV Prevention
group, an LGBT and Straight Ally Dance group and a non-profit
production company that puts on fashion shows to raise money
for different causes.
My experience was different. I didn’t have to tell people. You could
just tell by looking at my dad that he was gay. But my sister told the
whole neighborhood. It was difficult because it was a low-income
area. I was teased a lot because of it. Before it was a problem;
now, it is just cool. My dad always encouraged me and was there
for me, for whatever it was, graduations, performances, he was
there, immediately.
My story has many different versions. I told the first person when
I was sixteen. She was my best friend. I then joined Dreams of
Hope and went to Philadelphia to an equality forum and never
saw so many gay people before in my whole life. It gave me
strength. When I got back home, I told my mom and dad. My mom
continued on page 6
DEAR COLAGE FRIENDS & FAMILIES,
Since the first gatherings of youth and adults
with LGBT parents, COLAGE has been exploring
the unique ways in which we, as people with one
or more lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender
(LGBT) parent/s, go through our own coming out
processes which can both mirror and greatly
differ from our parents’ coming out paths and
experiences.
From my own experience as the child of a lesbian
and as a member of this community for nearly 13
years, I believe one thing is certain and common:
we make decisions every day about whether,
when, where, how and to whom we share this part
of our lives and identities. Over the course of one’s
lifetime there are innumerable opportunities to
come out. Sometimes we must come out quickly
and maneuver within unfamiliar (or decidedly
homo-hostile) terrain and other times we can
leisurely weigh the many reasons and potential
consequences (both personal and political) for
coming out before doing so. At the same time,
many of us are challenged by a firmly held decision
(sometimes made by our parents and sometimes
by ourselves) to not come out in some or all parts
of our lives.
Coming out means something different to each of
us as we and our life circumstances change.
Here’s what Coming Out means to me right now:
Coming Out means liberation. The first step
towards family liberation and personal freedom is
being open and honest with yourself and at least
one other person about the wondrous complexity
of you and your family—who you are and whom you
and your parent(s) love. This leads to being out and
open about the myriad aspects of our identities.
Coming Out means visibility. You do not have to go
far to come out. By coming out or being out as the
child of an LGBT parent you automatically become
a role model and an educator to those around you.
You can come out in your school, your workplace,
your faith community, to your health providers, to
your elected officials. Each time you come out you
raise visibility and awareness not only for your
own family but also for other marginalized families
who are actually in the majority.
Coming Out means power. As both COLAGE and
COLAGErs become more visible in society and
build our vibrant community, we gain political
and social power. We are a movement of voices
that speaks authentically about what it means to
have LGBT parents. We develop new definitions of
what it means to be a family. We confront injustice
by advocating for our rights and the rights of all
children, youth and families.
In this Just For Us you will hear the stories of
many COLAGErs who have approached coming out
in different ways. This issue reveals how visibility
of COLAGErs, for example through the mediums of
film (Morgan’s article about “Tru Loved” on Page
13) and radical cheerleading (Read Caroline’s story
on Page 12), is a powerful tool for broadening
discussions about children, youth and adults with
LGBT parents and ensuring that COLAGErs are
an integral part of such conversations. I am also
excited to share on pages 10 and 11 tools to help
youth and adults alike navigate the world of coming
out and raising visibility through being out.
In honor of National Coming Out Day, I invite you to
participate in the third annual COLAGE Support Our
Community Campaign during the month of October.
This yearly grassroots fundraising drive is your
opportunity to come out as a supporter of COLAGE
and encourage others to join our community
and support our work. The funds raised through
this campaign will help us carry out our exciting
Strategic Plan in the upcoming year. Please check
out the Support Our Community information on the
back cover of Just For Us and sign up today!
Sincerely,
Beth Teper
COLAGE E n G A G E s , C O n n E C t s , A n d E m p O w E r s p E O p L E t O m A k E t h E w O r L d A
b E t t E r p L A C E f O r C h i L d r E n O f L E s b i A n , G A y , b i s E x u A L , A n d /O r t r A n s G E n d E r p A r E n t s A n d fA m i L i Es.
© COLAGE, 2007. Contact COLAGE for reprint permission.
©Marilyn Humphries
I’m wondering how much time has passed
As I sit here in my dorm
Looking at our picture.
I’ve got your eyes, you know it
And a slightly crooked smile to match yours, too.
I wish I had your cheekbones…
I wish I had your courage.
Though I’ve yet to nd a
“gay”
side like you have,
(Which I probably won’t)
I believe we’re very much alike
In all the ways that should count.
And although your lover,
She doesn’t share
The same genes
Or blue jeans
As me,
I am convinced that I have her brainy wit….
Which is
better than genetics anyway.
And it’s a shame that people can’t tell
From the faces in the frame
All that we’ve been through…
All that we share.
And as I watch the airbrushed photo slowly
collect with the dust
That is almost always
correlated to a lazy college student,
I remember the hoarse laughter,
Pig Latin,
Dancing in the living room,
Tears,
Rainbow flags,
The lookout,
Ellen,
And British Columbia.
And I remember how because of you and her,
My life was
destined to be dierent.
Destined to be strange.
Hated.
Feared.
Queer.
And I remember how I would
never change it for the world.
Sara Berger goes to school in Minnesota but grew up with lesbian moms in
North Dakota. She recently was named a winner of the COLAGE Lee Dubin
Scholarship. Read more about her and other scholarship winners on page 14.
I
am the eldest child of a wonderful bisexual
woman, but at one time, no one knew. She was
married to my dad for eleven years when they
divorced. I lived with my dad for four years in a
small town called Thibodaux, Louisiana. While living
in Thibodaux, I was a student at a private Catholic
school, and during our religion classes I held my
tongue when the subject fell to homosexuality.
I didn’t think it was right to subject my mom to
ridicule by the group of elementary school students.
I transferred to a public school in Baton Rouge at
midterm of my sixth grade year. This began an entirely different experience.
Up until then, I had not told anyone about my mom. No one ever needed to know.
It wasn’t until I made friends and had them over to my house for my thirteenth
birthday party that I had to tell someone. I was very happy when my friends
thought it was cool that my mom was in a relationship with a woman. It was their
parents I had to worry about. One particular pair comes to mind. The parents of my
best friend decided that she was not allowed to be associated with me any longer
because of my mom and her then partner. They believed that what my mom was
doing with her life was a sin and did not want them to influence their daughter in
any way. This was particularly hard for me because this was the first time I had
to come out about my family. Because of the way these parents reacted, I went
back into seclusion.
I did everything I could think of to be “normal” in the eyes of my peers. I
joined clubs, played sports, and played in the band. I never mentioned my mom’s
partner when speaking about my family and not many were ever invited to my
house. This went on until my eighth grade year. At this point, I had an epiphany. I
was ashamed of what I was doing to my mom. I questioned what I had been doing:
I was perfectly fine with my mom’s lifestyle and so was she. So why was I afraid
to tell others? Once I overcame my fear, I told everyone. I told anyone who would
listen. It felt great. I felt this weight lift from my shoulders. No one had a problem
with my family. Among my peers, it was okay that my mom was bisexual and was in
a relationship with a woman. The Church, on the other hand, thought otherwise.
My family is Catholic and attended Mass every Sunday and on Holy Days of
Obligation. My mom was a Eucharistic minister, which is the person who presents
the Body of Christ, or the bread, and the Blood of Christ, or the wine, to the
congregation. When the priest and the congregation, our so-called “family”,
decided to take this privilege away from my mom because of the life she chose.
Needless to say, I was livid. They told her she was a sinner and unclean. She was
not allowed to participate in such leadership roles in the Church any longer. I
continued to go to Mass and PSR (Parish School of Religion) because it was what
my mom wanted. Everything I took part in with the Church was for her. Once I
had graduated from PSR, I cut off most of my contact with the Church. I had
enough of their twisted views and values and to this very day, I am not involved
with any particular religion or church. I believe in God, but I have my own views
and values that are different from what I was taught through those treacherous
years of religion classes.
As I am reflecting on all of these events, I am realizing the main reason I did
not tell anyone about my family. It was because I thought I was the only person
in the world whose family was different. Thanks to COLAGE, I now know different.
Today, I am the out and proud child of a bisexual woman. It does not matter who
my mom chooses to love. All that matters to me is that she is happy.
Danielle is 18 years old and an accomplished tuba player from Louisiana. She spent the sum-
mer as an intern in the COLAGE office. Read more about Danielle on Page 15.
Ian and Ayana prepare to lead the family
contingent during the San Francisco Pride Parade.
Ember with COLAGE Bay Area youth
M
y parents divorced right before my 18th
birthday after 27 years of marriage but
they had a strained relationship from as
far back as I can remember. My mom
later told me that she wanted to leave my dad when
I was 5 years old but stayed to get us kids raised. I
wish she had left instead - I think it would have been
better for all of us. Instead, I grew up watching their
interactions, which were almost always in the form
of arguments. In addition, my mom was battling
alcoholism, dealing with being an incest survivor and
fighting anxiety/depression. These are the things
that challenged me, not her lesbianism.
In fact, her coming out was extremely healing for
me and answered many questions about my family
that had plagued my mind for years. My mom always
looked butch, preferring jeans, t-shirts and cropped
hair. She didn’t look or act like moms of friends I had
or any of the TV moms we saw growing up. I knew
something was different about my family for years,
but couldn’t figure it out.
I found out about my mom being gay from high
school gossip. A friend of mine called to tell me that
another girl was saying my mom was gay. I was
struck with fear that it could be true! I grew up in a
rural area and was immersed in homophobic culture.
Because I couldn’t stand to deal with uncertainty,
I confronted my mom and asked her if it was true.
She hesitated to answer and I think she was afraid
of being rejected, so I quickly added that it didn’t
matter to me if she was or not, that it wouldn’t
change my feelings towards her. And with that, she
came out to me. Suddenly, my whole upbringing, from
the boy haircuts she used to give her daughters, her
butch nature, and the strained marriage/upcoming
divorce all made sense!
When I found out my mom was gay, I thought I must
be gay too, especially since I was having feelings
and a strong emotional attachment for a close girl
friend. But I also had a steady boyfriend who I loved
being with. I went into therapy to deal with a lot of
childhood baggage. One of the things it did for me
was to help me realize that I’m bisexual. And even
though my mom and I are very much alike, I am not
exactly like her and am not a lesbian.
My mom isn’t out to many people, which has always
been hard for me. I don’t want to hide who I am, and
her being gay has shaped my life and worldview,
for the better. It was the catalyst for me to face
myself and deal with many issues, which I’ll forever
be grateful for! But I’ve had to hide her sexuality
from people for eons now. And I’m much, much more
political than my mother is. My husband (who has a
gay male cousin and many LGBT friends) and I march
in Columbus’ Pride Parade almost every year. I carry
a sign that says “proud daughter of a lesbian”.
I wish we could all just love the people our hearts and
bodies lead us to and I am feeling more able to not care
what people think. I am organizing my 20th high school
class reunion back home and I’ve been slowly telling
people about my mom. And have been pleasantly
surprised at the number of supportive comments I’ve
received! It just goes to show that even rural people
can be supportive and open minded.
Melanie Jones is a 38 year old daughter of an awesome
lesbian mom. Her youngest nephew has spontaneously
called his grandmother’s partner “gamma” without anyone
prompting him or overhearing anyone else say it. She lives
in Columbus, Ohio, works at the Ohio State University and
graduated with her Masters in workforce development and
education on August, 2007.
I
define diversity by recognizing a group that shares a core commonality while
celebrating the unique differences of its membership. I have been blessed
with a family who demonstrates and celebrates diversity in almost every way
imaginable. My nuclear family is made up of my mother, my mother’s partner,
my younger brother, and me. My father and mother are divorced, but Daddy and
his side of the family are still very close to my mothers and their family.
My mother and father are both African-American. My other mother is of Scots
and German background. Both my mothers also have Native American blood --
Mohegan and Blackfoot. My extended family of grandparents, aunts and uncles,
and cousins also includes citizens of Denmark, Great Britain, Canada, Nigeria, and
the Bahamas, as well as children adopted from China, Vietnam, and Romania.
Religious diversity is another hallmark of my family. Most of us are Christian,
but we worship as independent Pentecostals, African Methodist Episcopals,
American Baptists, Anglicans, and Presbyterians. Our theological spectrum
ranges from evangelical fundamentalist to Christian social activist. We also
have several goddess worshipers and other pagans in the family. Six of us,
including my mother’s grandmother, my mother’s partner, and both of her
parents are ordained ministers.
While most in my family graduated from high school, several did not have that
opportunity. In terms of vocations and careers, my family members hold very diverse
positions. We are clergy, short-order cooks, barbers, professors, mill workers, mill
owners, officers in the Navy and the Air Force, housekeepers, engineers, therapists,
nurses, social workers, automobile executives, high school teachers, motivational
speakers, secretaries, and house painters, just to name a few. Given the diversity
of educational levels and professions, it is not surprising that my family also
represents all rungs of the economic ladder. The homeless, the working poor, the
middle class, and the wealthy are found on both sides of my family.
When it comes to our political views, we have career military officers and
war-protesting pacifists. We have staunch Republicans, liberal Democrats,
Socialists, and independents. Most of us supported and have benefited from the
Civil Rights Movement for Black Americans, and many of us support the civil and
marriage rights of gays and lesbians. Family members with opposing views still
treat each other with love, respect, and welcome.
In my family everyone is deeply loved, and there is room for everyone, whoever
they are and whatever they are like. Our family gains visibility through the ways
we celebrate our family diversity.
Somehow in small town South Carolina, the buckle of the Bible Belt, my inter-
racial, lesbian-led family has managed to stand proud and fit in. We are active
in sports, music, church, community volunteer activities, booster clubs, and
neighborhood fellowship. People know us for who we are. They appreciate our
goodness, kindness, and integrity. People see the true love, honor, respect and
care that my mothers have for each other. They see how well-loved and cared
for my brother and I are. It is almost as if people cannot help being happy when
they see how happy and blessed my family is.
Alston graduated from high school in Spartanburg, SC last spring and will be attending
Auburn University this fall to study engineering. He was very involved in Youth Voices-
a student leadership group that impacts change in the local community.
Melanie with her husband JR.
rowsing on the internet last summer,
I curiously typed "kids with gay
parents" into the Google search
field. I was trying to somehow find that
I was not the only person in the universe
with gay parents. That's when I discovered
COLAGE, and soon found out I am definitely
not the only one! I was so curious about the
organization and I desperately wanted to find
out how to get involved.
I saw the contact information for the Utah
chapter of COLAGE and immediately picked
up the phone. I dialed the number as fast as I could, stumbling over my
fingers with great excitement. I anxiously waited for someone to pick up
on the other line. They did finally, except I didn't get the information I
was expecting. The voice on the other line told me that the chapter had
been inactive for about a year or so. However, they suggested that I call
the LGBT community center of Utah to speak with them about possibly
reforming a COLAGE group. I was a little disappointed at first that there
wasn't a group I could join, but shortly after, I realized I could restart a
chapter and begin a new journey. I saw it as a great opportunity,
and that's exactly what I did!
The recently re-opened COLAGE Salt Lake City was formed in October
2006. We are going strong and having a
blast! Each month it seems we have a new
family join our group. It is very exciting to
watch and be a part of the growth of
the COLAGE community here in Salt Lake
City. Our first meeting was a pizza and
soda social which was held at the LGBT
community center of Utah. It was awesome
and such a great way to get things up and
running.
Since then we have done so much We had the
great opportunity of participating in the Utah
Pride festival and got to march in the parade. Our hearts were joyful
and it was so important for all of us to feel the support of our families,
friends, fellow Utahans, and allies. Other past activities have included
a movie night, games night, pajama party, family barbeque, talent show,
and swimming.
Heading into my senior year of high school, and coming up on our chapter's
one year anniversary, I am filled with passion and excitement. This COLAGE
group, even in its short time of being, has brought so much to my life. I am
excited to see what this year will bring a little bit scared to possibly move
away for college and pass on the torch, but confident that this chapter
will keep going and continue to bring joy and support into other youths'
lives like it has mine.
didn’t react too badly. My dad told me he already
knew. He was just waiting for me to figure it out
on my own.
My old friends stopped talking to me, so I found
new friends. I deal with homophobia a lot. When
I came out in school, it wasn’t a big deal at first.
I just acted like myself; I grew my hair out and
started wearing make-up. I came out to my
dad’s side about a year ago because my uncle’s
wife passed away while she was in the hospital.
Before the wake, I came out to the family. I had
my long hair in long braids with extensions. I
called my aunt and told her because I didn’t
want it be a big deal when they saw me. When I
got there, the family looked at me like I was an
alien. But I think it’s funny when people look at
me like that.
I have lots of Caucasian friends who are LGBT.
In pop culture and in most religions, it is
generally accepted. But not in African American
communities. You are an outcast and not
accepted. It is different for me because of where
I live. Black men are supposed to be tough and
strong, and if you are feminine, like me, there is
a problem. In African American communities,
people don’t come out. So no one talks about it.
By day, thugs make fun of me, but by night, they
want to know if I have a boyfriend and if I need a
ride home. They are curious.
Religious beliefs are so strong in African American
communities and are promoting homophobia. My
friends have gone to church and were told they
were going to Hell for being gay. The church tried
to convert them. It drives me crazy to think that
people actually think like that.
If you love your parents, and they are LGBT,
respect them and stand up for them. Stand
up and tell everyone there isn’t a difference
between your family and mine. Be proud. That’s
what I would tell them.
Terrance McGeorge lives in Pittsburgh and is an
Americorps member who works with Beginning with
Books. He is an active member of Young Adult Long
Tables and the Dreams of Hope dance troupe and
is currently helping produce an HIV Prevention and
Awareness Fashion Show.
FRONT
BACK
still remember asking my mom why she
and my dad were getting divorced. She
responded, “Well, I don’t know if you’ll
understand this, but your dad is gay.”
Though only in 4th grade, I did understand. It
didn’t bother me because he was still my dad and
I had already suspected it from the hushed phone
calls and whispered conversations.
Yet, when I divulged the family secret to my two
close friends, they seemed shocked, appalled. I
knew after that I should keep it secret. It wasn’t
normal. If your father left your mother it was
supposed to be for another woman.
After that I referred to my father’s partner as his
“friend” and I answered questions about my dad’s
sexuality with a confused and flabbergasted look.
I didn’t want to lie, but the truth seemed so hard.
More than my fear of my classmates teasing me
was my fear of what they would say about Daddy.
I was proud of him, glad he was happy and in
love, but I knew most people wouldn’t share my
enthusiasm. I could take it if they belittled and
stared at me, but I felt fiercely protective of my
dad and knew that in my small town being gay was
not okay. The word faggot was carelessly tossed
about and everything undesirable was quickly
labeled as “gay.”
As I grew older I regretted that I didn’t tell anyone,
that I wasn’t out and proud about my dad’s
sexuality. I was proud of him; why couldn’t I show
everyone just how proud I was? In my senior year
of high school I finally told my two best friends. It
was liberating and wonderful. In college it became
a part of my identity that I hid from no one. I
let everyone know I had a gay dad and he had a
partner of 8 years who was a second father to me.
I used his experience and mine to educate people
about sexuality. I used his story to show them
that homosexuality was not a choice and about
the need for equality. I’m not going to act like
everyone thought it was completely normal.
People still act with surprise when I out myself,
but instead of seeing it as an affront or a setback
I see it as a valuable way to challenge their
perceptions and help them open their minds. I’m
finally out of the closet and I will never ever go
back in. I will be visible and vocal. I will be an
advocate and activist everyday in my words and
actions for the rest of my life. While it would
be easy for me to hide and to fit in, if everyone
in the GLBT community did that we would all be
forced back into the stifling and painful closet
we have fought so hard to liberate ourselves
from. It takes courage and it isn’t easy, but our
struggle now may mean that one day it won’t be
quite so hard.
Caitlin is originally from New Jersey but resides in
Houston TX as a sophomore student Rice University.
She is majoring in English and the Study of Women,
Gender, and Sexuality. Currently, Caitlin is planning
the Houston vigil for Seven Straight Nights for Equal
Rights, a nationwide effort led by straight allies in an
effort to achieve LGBT rights.
colage
rainbow
pride
out
closet
acceptance
fun
family
telling
See if you can nd the following words
and circle them in this fun word nd!
In Summer 2007, COLAGE met hundreds of youth
with LGBT parents at incredible events. These
are just a few highlights from Family Week in
Saugatuck, MI, Family Week in Provincetown, MA
and Families at the River in Guerneville, CA. Thanks
to all of the youth, families and volunteers who
made these events more fabulous than ever!
COLAGE EVENT SCRAPBOOK
COLAGE EVENT SCRAPBOOK
Amber, Brenna, Kelsey, Sara and Hayley prepare for
the first MI Family Week parade.
COLAGErs at the Saugatuck Bowling Party.
Trinity and Justice spread COLAGE love.
New teen friends in Ptown.
COLAGE teens enjoy a Michigan summer night.
We also want to thank our amazing partners Rainbow
Families Great Lakes (MI Family Week) and Our Family
Coalition (Families at the River) for their leadership and
efforts with these events.
COLAGE EVENT SCRAPBOOK
COLAGE EVENT SCRAPBOOK
Youth at Families by the River show
their COLAGE pride.
COLAGE Crew represents at the Ptown dance.
Alexis and Lani strut their drag king stuff.
The Camp COLAGE Yellow Team prepares for Field Day.
Skyler models his new COLAGE Tie Dye.
Jake and Madison as Peter Pan
and Tinkerbell in the Saugatuck COLAGE
Drama Skit.
ó
I
t’s all about the sass!” that’s what we—a
group of high school COLAGErs heard at the Do
Something! Workshop during Provincetown Family
Week. Our workshop that day was about radical
cheerleading, a new kind of political activism that
combines catchy cheers, sassy attitudes, and most
importantly, meaningful messages. Instead of cheering
for sports teams, radical cheerleaders cheer in
protest or in support of ideas and movements. Radical
cheerleading began in the mid-1990s, when Aimee
and Cara Jennings, sisters from Florida decided to do
something about political protests that were boring
and often ineffective because of repetitive chants and
way-too-serious attitudes. They began brainstorming
cheers that would support the protesters, liven up
political demonstrations, and reduce tension between
protesters and opponents of the demonstrations.
At the Do Something! Workshop at Family Week, we
learned about the history of radical cheerleading:
who invented radical cheer, where and why it’s used.
We also learned a few cheers from other squads,
stopping after each to discuss the issues that were
addressed in the cheers. After learning a cheer
protesting the War in Iraq, we discussed the war, the
implications of the war in the US and in Iraq, and the
concept of self-determination.
After learning a few cheers, we started to think
about the cheer we wanted to write, as queerspawn.
We talked about the queerspawn community and
what we wanted to protest or support in our
cheer. A lot of issues came up, one of which was
“homonormativity” and the “model queer family,”
two white women and white, straight kids. This
model is used to make queer families more relatable
to others, but also leaves behind the many families
in our community that aren’t homonormative. This
concept, along with discrimination against LGBTQ
families and people became the issues in our cheer.
As a squad, The Ptown Puritans, we then began
to write our cheer. We worked well together:
some members finding rhymes and verses, others
working out a rhythm for the chant, and still others
brainstorming movements and gestures. At the end
of our workshop, we had a finished and practiced
cheer, all we needed was to add some sass and some
attitude. The Ptown Puritans performed our sassy
and radical cheer at the Family Week Show and Tell.
Caroline Cox-Orrell is a 17-year-old social activist and
high school student living in Newton, MA with her lesbian
mothers. She is the president of her high school’s GSA,
works on the Board of GLSEN Boston and is currently in
search of a rockin’ radical cheer squad in Boston.
“
The nation now is so uptight
All queerspawn have got to unite
The G-O-V’s got hate and spite
So us queerspawn gotta shed some light
CHORUS:
Resist! Resist! The system that we’re in
Picture-perfect families don’t let every one in
X2
Families on TV have a mom and a dad
My familiy’s different and we sure are rad
I see you shooting that documentary,
but that’s not everybody’s family
Families of color and KOTs
Single parents and divorcés
Second-gen’s not what they want to see
Resist the expectation that they have for me!
CHORUS
If all our families come together as one
That’s the way it’s gonna get done
CHORUS
If all our families come together as one
That’s the way it’s GONNA GET DONE!!
S
o, your parents are, like, gay?” What a familiar question to anyone with
gay parents. We have all had this conversation on myriad occasions,
yet this topic can always carry a level of intimidation. It is difficult to
predict what the asker’s reaction will be. One of the best things for me
growing up was meeting other kids with gay parents who were asked the same
questions. Connecting with people who have a shared experience is a fabulous
remedy for anything, and fortunately this connection is not limited to daily life:
it can also be forged in art.
This past July I had the privilege of working on the independent feature
film, “Tru Loved.” I tackled several vocations as the wardrobe assistant/set
costumer/behind-the-scenes filmmaker, while also playing a small speaking
role as “punk girl.” Not only was this a perfect set-up for an actress looking for
an education in the film world, but it was also an opportunity to contribute to
telling an important and under-told story. The film is about a sixteen-year-old
girl, Tru, who has gay parents. Tru’s family moves to a new town and she goes
through the process of making friends, dating a very dreamy guy, and generally
navigating high school life. On the set of the film, when people heard about my
own gay parents, my home in San Francisco, and my involvement with COLAGE,
the response was something like “Oh, like Tru!”
This simple response should not be underestimated: it is a perfect example of
the importance of storytelling. Storytelling has been around for centuries for a
good reason: it provides societies with identifiable characters whom we relate
to. We love to hear about the lovesick Montague or little Olive with a dream of
being a beauty queen. These characters allow us to understand points of view
we may not have considered, feel less alone in our own experiences, and satisfy
our curiosity about how other people live. Film, as well as theatre, intricately
explores our relationships, interactions, and our most private thoughts. The
audience identifies with characters based on similarities they perceive, however
small: “I eat my french fries like that too!” or “My mother would always say
that to me when I was 16.” What a fantastic medium, then, to contribute to the
visibility of children with LGBT parents everywhere!
Consider my favorite scene in the movie. Tru goes to dinner with her new friend
Lodell, and after some light conversation Lodell asks, “So is it true you have,
like, two moms?” Any COLAGEr watching will appreciate how familiar this is: the
inevitable explanation about biological conception and living arrangements that
feels awkwardly preemptive yet necessary. The scene accurately captures the
many feelings involved; the sense of pride but also the slight rush of nervousness
(which, by the way, I still feel sometimes at age 22!). It is the first time I have
ever seen this situation, so familiar to my own life experience, depicted in a film
for others to share and consider.
I feel so lucky to have been a part of the incredibly talented and enthusiastic
team that made “Tru Loved.” It seems so fitting that the first feature film I have
worked on addresses issues that have always been important to me. I think
that after seeing this movie people will be less likely to say, “so…umm….how
can your parents be gay?” Instead they will respond with an enthusiastic, “Oh,
like Tru!” And that, fellow COLAGErs, is the beauty of storytelling. To learn more
about Tru Loved, go to www.truloved.com.
Morgan Early is a recent graduate of UCLA who grew up in the Bay Area with gay dads
and a lesbian mom. She helped create the COLAGE That's So Gay art show as a partici-
pant in the Youth Leadership and Action Program and also has volunteered at COLAGE
events in Los Angeles.
“
COLAGE WISH LIST
COLAGE WISH LIST
A television
Digital Camera
Printing and
Design Services
A Couch
Color Printer and
Ink Cartridges.
Air Miles or Plane Tickets
Database (software,
systems or expertise)
Do you have access to any of the following items or services? Be a COLAGE
fairy godparent and contact us! If you have any of these items to donate,
please contact Jamon Franklin at jamon@colage.org or 415-861-KIDS.
Morgan Early on the set of Tru Loved.
w a s b o r n
and raised in Mandan, North
Dakota with two moms, a dad, four
siblings, and a bundle of crazy
pets. Currently a sophomore at
Macalester College in St. Paul,
Minnesota, Sara plans to double
major in Neuroscience and
Women,Gender, and Sexuality
Studies and is fully committed
to continuing the fight for the
LGBTQ+ community. She is a
member of the COLAGE Speak OUT program and volunteered with
COLAGE during the 2007 Rainbow Families of Minnesota conference.
“If it weren’t for my unique (and unfortunately, often misunderstood)
family, I wouldn’t be the open person I am today. I consider myself
the luckiest girl in the world for having such a wonderful family, and
I am extremely proud of them.”
is a
sophomore at UC Berkeley
studying Political Science and
Ethnic Studies. Her involvement
in politics started years and years
before even applying to college!
Since joining COLAGE at the age
of 9, Marina has been a powerful
advocate for LGBT families and
their children. She has dedicated
herself to educating individuals,
policy makers, and the media on
the importance of anti-heterosexism and family recognition. She has
participated in the COLAGE Bay Area chapter and the COLAGE Speak
OUT program for many years and was featured in the In My Shoes
documentary and on the COLAGE and Freedom to Marry Radio Tour.
originally from Colorado Springs,
will begin her freshman year at
Western Washington University
in Bellingham this fall where
she will launch her studies in
art, psychology and writing.
Marisa lives with her mother but
has remained close to her gay
father, who has encouraged and
counseled her throughout her life. After enduring serious and
repeated harassment at her shcool, Marisa – with the support
of her gay father – demanded justice for herself and others. She
confronted her high school principal head-on and was successful
in implementing a zero-tolerance policy for harassment as well as
insuring that religious proselytizing would be equated with bullying
at high schools in the future. Marisa says, “There is far too much
criticism and hatred aimed at people of different lifestyles, and
I want to help cultivate a world that is not merely tolerant, but
actually loving and accepting of all.”
18 , a re ce nt g rad ua te of La wre nce
High School is attending The
College of Wooster in Wooster,
Ohio. She’s from Lawrenceville,
New Jersey, where she lives
with her two gay dads and two
dogs. As the leader of her high
school Gay Straight Alliance
and a co-founder of her local
New Jersey COLAGE chapter,
Elizabeth has demonstrated an unstoppable commitment to social and
political change. In her free time she loves music and hanging out with
friends. She is extremely honored to be receiving this scholarship and
wants to thank everyone from COLAGE.
In 2007 COLAGE was thrilled to partner with the Joseph Towner Fund of the Horizons Foundation to provide undergraduate
scholarships for young adults with LGBT parents through the Lee Dubin Memorial Scholarship. This year we received
nearly 50 applications from COLAGErs all across the country! Each of our outstanding applicants is doing incredible work
to promote equality and justice for children, youth and adults with LGBT parents in very creative ways. Our panel of
volunteers chose four deserving winners:
COLAGE NOTES
COLAGE NOTES
Jack Ryder
Ruby Cymrot-Wu & Ana Gordon-Loebl
Lauren Wheeler
nonprofit
org.u.s. postage
paid
san francisco, ca
permit no. 925
return service requested
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 830
San Francisco, CA 94103
• Learn valuable fundraising skills
• Raise money in support of COLAGE
• Celebrate National Coming Out Day
and Halloween
• Celebrate and advocate for yourself,
your family and your community.
Get started at:
www.COLA GE.kintera.org/SOC
