A Life Beyond Endurance By: Fay Grindrod (review)

University of Texas Rio Grande Valley University of Texas Rio Grande Valley

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Counseling Faculty Publications and

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College of Education and P-16 Integration

2015

A Life Beyond Endurance By: Fay Grindrod (review) A Life Beyond Endurance By: Fay Grindrod (review)

Susan Stuntzner

The University of Texas Rio Grande Valley

, susan.stuntzner@utrgv.edu

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Recommended Citation Recommended Citation

Stuntzner, S. (2015). A Life Beyond Endurance By: Fay Grindrod (review). Annals of Psychotherapy, 29–32.

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Running Head: A LIFE BEYOND ENDURANCE

A Book Review

A Life Beyond Endurance

Written By: Fay Grindrod

Publisher: Barnes & Noble Print on Demand, 108 pages

Reviewed By: Dr. Susan Stuntzner, PhD, LPC, CRC, NCC, DCC, FAPA

Edited by: Joel Coltharp & Angela Stanley

A LIFE BEYOND ENDURANCE

A Life Beyond Endurance

What is a reasonable amount of pain and suffering one can expect to endure in a lifetime? Can someone

experience hardship and trauma, grow from it, and come out on the other side for the better? Can

challenging experiences be used throughout one’s life to help, heal, and nurture others having a difficult

life or time (i.e., abuse, hunger, famine, lack of opportunities)? What life lessons can a person learn from

traumatic and downright difficult life experiences? If a person wants to grow from his or her life

experiences, how can this be done so the person can contribute to the world in such a way that s/he is

leaving it a better place than when the person first entered it? Related is the notion and question of

forgiveness. Can a person learn to forgive people who commit atrocious acts of injustice and harm

towards others, particularly people who are innocent and do not deserve to be brutally beaten or

murdered? Questions such as these are ones that people may ask themselves when they encounter and

live through difficult, unfair, and often horrendous life experiences.

While most people face emotional pain, hurt, loss, and disappointment as a part of life (i.e., divorce,

grief, loss of a loved one, disability), not all hurtful experiences and offenses are “equal,” nor do all

people move past them in a positive fashion and use their experience to help others. Similarly, some

experiences are outside the normal range of those experienced by mainstream America. Examples may

include traumatic wartime observations and personal experiences (i.e., the Holocaust, veterans serving

in the Armed Forces, disability, and sexual abuse).

The author of this book is one such individual. Ms. Grindrod witnessed the Holocaust from an early age,

saw and experienced the devastating effects of it firsthand. Grindrod opens the book with a synopsis of

her time and experiences as a master’s student in a guidance and counseling program. During this

portion of her life, she is afforded an opportunity to explore and write about her own (a) personal and

life development; (b) familial experiences growing up and those that occurred during the Holocaust; (c)

testimonial witnessing to mass starvation amongst people she knew; and (d) stark observations of

friends, loved ones, and strangers being brutally beaten, marched to prison camps, or murdered by

German soldiers, just to name a few. Throughout this portion of the book

A LIFE BEYOND ENDURANCE

she weaves stories and experiences into the fabric and landscape of the class assignment she was asked

to complete. Personal insight and growth exercises are not uncommon in many counseling and

psychology programs, as a key component instilled throughout is to know and understand thyself, for it

is through this unearthing process that professionals can learn to truly know themselves so they can

address and work through any buried pain. Another key component of insight exercises is helping

professionals experience themselves, their life, and developmental experiences in such a way that they

can move past them and, hopefully, become the type of professional who can assist others they

encounter who are having a difficult time in life or in moving past some challenging trauma or situation.

Throughout the book, Grindrod shares 45 stories, poems, and excerpts from her life, as well as

experiences, thoughts, and feelings she had. The author, now a woman in her mid-80s, is able to reflect

on her life, experiences (pleasant and unpleasant), pain, triumphs, and life lessons and share them with

the reader in an abbreviated but powerful manner. Integrated are a number of topics, which include:

events, interpretations, and feelings associated with the Holocaust; stories of survival and learning to

cope with difficult events and losses; important people and relationships throughout her life and the

ways they positively influenced her; learning to develop a relationship with oneself and to trust who you

are; finding meaning and purpose in the midst of difficult life events; motherhood; love; dealing with

survivor’s guilt; personal values, inner strength, and courage; the purpose and value of growing older;

wisdom and self-nurturance; and insight to the meaning and pursuit of personal security.

Also of relevance and interest is Grindrod’s ability to write one story or theme while covering multiple

topics. It is not known if this was the author’s intent, but it was a remarkable discovery. For example, in

her story “What is the Significance of Being Alive?” the author is able to introduce topics such as

courage, helping others, love, balance, fear, and beliefs about material possessions. Through her works,

Grindrod also reminds the reader of the ways we are human and often feel vulnerable throughout life.

In her story “Look Inward” the reader is provided with the opportunity to remember that when we go

through difficult life events, we experience loss, hurt, and, perhaps, a sense of burden; however, we

strive to find a way to move forward and through it. Oftentimes, as human beings, we feel alone and

isolated, and our need to survive pushes us to “reach out” towards others, only to discover that a key

part of healing is learning and refining our sense of endurance, inner strength, meaning, and courage.

Collectively, Grindrod’s works have a lot to offer readers about life, values, discoveries, and insights into

lessons learned when people live with, work through, and move past difficult, heart-wrenching, and

even traumatic experiences. She reminds us that finding purpose and a “silver lining” is possible, but

that this discovery often takes time and is not easy. Grindrod’s current life choices and experiences are

additional examples of ways she uses her past, personal experiences, and lessons learned to help and

improve the lives of others. She also writes about her involvement with the Peace Corps, Cross-Cultural

Solutions, and her trip to Tanzania. While there, she became involved in the support of a 12-year-old

boy so that he could go to school and get an education. She also teaches teenagers survival skills, instills

hope in the children for a better future, and helps them understand the importance of not giving up and

striving for a better future. Because Grindrod knows the face and devastation of poverty, war, and

A LIFE BEYOND ENDURANCE

related difficult life events, she is able to give context to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of many

children living in poverty and dealing with challenging life circumstances. For many of these children,

she is a voice of wisdom, understanding, compassion, love, and hope—all essential ingredients for the

betterment of other people’s lives.