THE 5E GUIDE TO SEX

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part One: Sex 2

Getting Laid 2

Hooking Up 2

The Dirty Deed 3

Pregnancy 5

Terminating Pregnancy 5

Gestation and Birth 5

Part Two: Sexual Characters 7

Sex Among Races 7

Aaracockra 7

Aasimar 7

Dragonborn 7

Dwarf 7

Elf 7

Firbolg 7

Genasi 7

Goblinoid 7

Goliath 7

Gnome 8

Half-elf 8

Half-orc 8

Halfling 8

Human 8

Kenku 8

Kobold 8

Lizardfolk 8

Orc 8

Tabaxi 8

Tiefling 8

Triton 9

Yuan-ti Pureblood 9

Sex Among Classes 9

Barbarian 9

Bard 9

Cleric 9

Druid 9

Fighter 10

Monk 10

Paladin 10

Ranger 10

Rogue 10

Sorcerer 10

Warlock 11

Wizard 11

Other Characteristics 11

New Background: Courtesan 11

Sexual Fetishes 12

Part Three: Sexual Items 13

Mundane Items 13

Adventuring Equipment 13

Sexual Services 14

Magical Items 14

Part Four: Sexual Magic 19

Part Five: Sexual Monsters 22

Alraune 22

Demon: zeroa (tentacle demon) 24

Nymph 25

Philotes 26

Malcanthet, Queen of the Succubi 28

Appendix: The Bard’s Checklist 30

PART ONE: SEX

GETTING LAID

A character looking to get laid in Dungeons & Dragons

can use the following systems to hook up with someone,

perform the deed…and then deal with the

consequences.

While real-life was used as a touchstone for most of

the rules in this document, the main goal was ease of

play and fun. The author fully believes that D&D is not

and was never intended to be a Real Life Simulator.

HOOKING UP

Attempting to seduce an NPC is a Deception,

Performance, or Persuasion check (player’s choice). The

base DC to seduce an NPC for sex is calculated using

their ability scores, as follows:

Base Seduction DC = 15 + Strength or Dexterity

modifier (DM’s choice) + Charisma modifier

For example, a typical human (10 in every ability) has

a seduction DC of 15. A character with 17 Strength and

8 Charisma has a Seduction DC of 17. This DC is meant

to represent the fact that the more desirable a person is

(represented by a combination of their physical

appearance and personal magnetism), the higher

standards they tend to have concerning the people they

get in bed with.

The base DC presented above is then modified

according to the NPC’s sexual orientation, presented on

the table below. The DM can choose the NPC’s

orientation or determine it randomly, at their discretion.

This formula presumes that the NPC is themselves

amenable to getting laid, though not necessarily by the

player character making the check, and must be wined

and dined over the course of 1d4 hours. A particularly

horny NPC might decide to lower his or her standards,

which grants advantage on the seduction check.

Conversely, an NPC might not be looking for any sex at

all, which imposes disadvantage. An NPC may also

simply choose to want or not want to have sex, in which

case no roll is required: the seduction simply

automatically succeeds or fails, as appropriate.

Fucking Legends. Legendary creatures are a cut above

the rest, and they know it. A creature that possesses

legendary actions adds its proficiency bonus to both its

seduction DC and satisfaction DC (see below)

Multiple Partners. It is possible to seduce multiple

NPCs to get a threesome or foursome or more going.

You must seduce each NPC separately. Further, the DM

may rule that previously-seduced NPC may have been

looking for something more private, and require new

seduction checks for them for each new partner.

YOU’RE NOT MY TYPE

Certain NPCs cannot be seduced for various reasons, as

outlined below. Any attempt to seduce these NPCs

automatically fails by default, though the DM can feel

free to ignore this limitation for his particularly gross

campaigns if he wants.

Animal Intelligence. A creature of the beast type, or

any other creature without any sapience (subject to DM

discretion) can’t be seduced, no matter how hard you

try and even if you’re a druid.

Asexual. If the DM wants, each time he rolls a d20 to

determine an NPC’s sexual orientation, he can also roll

another d20. If both d20s result in a natural 20, then the

NPC is asexual – they lack a desire for sex altogether,

and as such can’t be seduced.

Orientation. As outlined on the table below, some

NPCs are completely heterosexual or homosexual; as a

result, attempts to seduce them by the conflicting sex

automatically fail.

Youth. An NPC who is not an adult by the physical

standards of his or her race can’t be seduced, you sicko.

NPC SEXUAL ORIENTATION

d20

Orientation

Base DC Modifier

1-6

Exclusively heterosexual

Will not have sex with someone of the same sex

7-10

Generally heterosexual

+5 if the seducer is of the same sex

11-13

Usually heterosexual

+2 if the seducer is of the same sex

14-15

Bisexual

No modifier

16-17

Usually homosexual

+2 if the seducer is of a different sex

18-19

Generally homosexual

+5 if the seducer is of a different sex

Exclusively homosexual

Will not have sex with someone of the opposing sex

THE DIRTY DEED

You can have sex for a number of minutes equal to your

Constitution score minus 5. Since most humans have a

Constitution of 10, this means that on average they last 5

minutes in bed. This refers only to the act of sex itself,

not to any foreplay (see below).

At the end of sex, you make a satisfaction check by

rolling a d20 and adding the number of minutes that the

sex lasted for above 5 minutes (+1 for six minutes, +2 for

seven minutes, and so on). If the result is equal to or

greater than your partner’s Constitution score, then

your partner was satisfied. If not, then your partner was

dissatisfied and may desire to continue having sex until

brought to satisfaction.

If having sex with more than one NPC, you make a

separate satisfaction check for each one.

Satisfied or Dissatisfied. An NPC who has been

satisfied with sex is likely to be friendly to you in the

future, though there is no mechanical benefit. Likewise,

a partner who you fail to satisfy might be unfriendly,

but again there is no mechanical distinction drawn.

Very Dissatisfied. If you fail a Satisfaction check by 5

or more, then the NPC was very dissatisfied. Their

sexual partner has disadvantage on all Persuasion

checks made against them for the next 1d4+1 days.

Very Satisfied. If you pass a Satisfaction check by 5 or

more, then the NPC was very satisfied. Their sexual

partner has advantage on all Persuasion checks against

them for the next 1d4+1 days.

Marathon. At the end of an act of sex, you can choose

to forgo making a satisfaction check. If you do, you have

sex for another length of time equal to your Constitution

score minus 5. You may repeat this any number of

times. Once you decide to stop forgoing the satisfaction

check, you add the total amount of minutes above 5

minutes for each act of sex and add that result to your

d20 roll.

Keeping going like this is exhausting, however. Each

character having sex must make a DC 15 Constitution

saving throw for each act of sex in an hour after the first;

on a failure, the character gains a level of exhaustion.

Size Issues. If your sexual partner is two or more size

categories larger or smaller than you, you have

disadvantage on checks to satisfy them. Further, it is

impossible for a male creature to physically penetrate a

creature that is two size categories or more smaller than

him without also causing great damage (1d4

bludgeoning damage per round of sex for each step of

size category difference), and even creatures one size

category smaller than them are at risk – for each minute

of penetrative sex a larger male has with a smaller

creature, that creature must make a DC 15 Constitution

saving throw or gain 1 level of exhaustion.

TECHNICAL DETAILS

The following applies to any creature while he or she is

having sex:

 You are grappled while having sex. Depending on

how you are having sex, you may additionally be

prone, restrained, or both. You can escape sex like

you would any other grapple; your partner(s) can

choose to not contest your escape attempt if they also

wish to stop having sex.

 You can’t concentrate on spells while having sex,

unless the spell is being used directly for sex (such as

the sexual application of Evard’s black tentacles, as

described later in this document)

FOREPLAY

Foreplay takes a number of different forms depending

upon the person or persons involved in sex. Whatever

gets you off is not this author’s concern, only its

mechanical effect: for each 10 minutes of foreplay

conducted before actually having sex, add +1 to your

Satisfaction roll.

However, foreplay is by nature enticing. For each 10

minutes of foreplay after the first, everyone involved must

make a Wisdom saving throw (DC 15). Failure indicates

that the person just got too horny and jumped the bones

of the other partner(s); sex begins then as the others got

swept up in the moment.

You can’t concentrate on spells during foreplay,

except as outlined above.

A QUICK FUCK

The above rules presume that you’re trying to make sex

last as long as your stamina allows; however, sometimes

you may only want to get off as fast as possible. A quick

fuck takes a number of rounds equal to twice your

Constitution score. Your partner is satisfied if this is

equal to or greater than twice his or her Constitution

score. It is not possible to leave someone very satisfied

or very dissatisfied through this method. Similarly, since

the entire point of a quick fuck is to get off quickly, you

cannot perform foreplay.

Quick fucking is just a kind of sex, so doing it (or

doing it in combination with a more drawn out fuck) it

is subject to the normal chance of exhaustion as outlined

above, as well as preventing you from concentrating on

spells.

RECOMMENDED COMPATIBILITY BY RACE

Aaracokra

Aasimar

Celestial (any)

Centaur

Dragon (any)

Dragonborn

Dwarf

Elf

Fey (any)

Fiend (any)

Firbolg

Genasi

Genie (any)

Giant (any)

Goblinoid (any)

Goliath

Gnoll

Gnome

Half

-elf

Half

-orc

Halfling

Human

Kenku

Kobold

Lizardfolk

Merfolk

Orc

Tabaxi

Tiefling

Triton

Yuan

-ti

Aaracokra

Aasimar

Celestial (any)

Centaur

Dragon (any)

Dragonborn

Dwarf

Elf

Fey (any)

Fiend (any)

Firbolg

Genasi

Genie (any)

Giant (any)

Goblinoid (any)

Goliath

Gnoll

Gnome

Half-elf

Half-orc

Halfling

Human

Kenku

Kobold

Lizardfolk

Merfolk

Orc

Tabaxi

Tiefling

Triton

Yuan-ti

Y: Compatible. Consult your DM to determine what race or subrace the resulting child is.

N: Not normally compatible, though magical intervention could change this.

RAPE

The author of this document really wished that he

didn’t have to bring this up, but knows he has to. In any

event, it is impossible to satisfy a partner whom you are

raping; your Satisfaction check automatically fails

regardless of the result. That is, even if the victim was

physically brought to orgasm, they’ll still hate your

guts. Any Charisma-based skill checks made against

them automatically fail (provided they know they are

being made by their rapist – if the rapist is attempting to

use Deception to disguise themselves, for example, this

doesn’t apply) for as long after the rape as the DM feels

is appropriate (usually, forever).

PREGNANCY

Each time a player character has sex, he or she must

make a check to see if their sexual partner(s) has become

pregnant (if the PC is male) or to see if they themselves

have become pregnant (if the PC is female). This is a

Constitution check, with the following DC:

Pregnancy DC = 15 – the character’s Constitution

modifier

So, for example, a character with a Constitution of 10

has a pregnancy DC of 15; one with a Constitution of 15

has a pregnancy DC of 13. In other words, healthier

characters are more likely to impregnate or become

pregnant, as relevant.

Two (or more) NPCs that have had sex don’t have to

make this check – the DM can simply decide whether or

not they become pregnant as a matter of dramatic

convenience. If the DM decides to leave it up to chance

anyway, the NPC with the lower Constitution is the one

that makes it. Likewise, if two player characters had sex,

the check is made by the player character with the lower

Constitution. In the event of a tie, randomly determine

which player makes the check.

PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS

There are certain circumstances under which pregnancy

is difficult or impossible, as outlined below.

Compatibility. Some races can’t impregnate other

races. The table on the previous page presents the

recommended possible racial combinations. A Dungeon

Master may change these to fit his or her campaign at

his or her discretion, however.

Fertility. Some races are more or less fertile than

others, and as such have advantage or disadvantage on

their pregnancy checks. See Part Two: Character

Features to see which races this applies to.

Homosexual Sex. Without some serious magical

intervention, sex between two (or more) members of the

same sex can’t result in pregnancy.

Past Your Prime. A woman who is over half the

average maximum age for her race can’t become

pregnant, though there are some exceptions to this

(dragons, for example, remain fertile for nearly their

entire lives). A man who is over half the average

maximum age of his race has disadvantage on all

pregnancy checks.

PREVENTING PREGNANCY

In theory, pregnancy is as simple to prevent as not

having penetrative sex, though in practice it’s easy to

get caught up in the moment. The easiest method of

preventing pregnancy is for a man to pull out before he

orgasms, though this is not as effective as one might

hope.

When you would make a pregnancy check, you can

say that you pulled out (if your character is male), or

had your partner pull out (if your character is female).

Doing so imposes disadvantage on the pregnancy

check.

TERMINATING PREGNANCY

Sometimes pregnancy can’t be prevented for one reason

or another; in that case, it can instead be terminated. A

pregnancy can also be lost due to violence or trauma.

Medical Abortion. A successful DC 15 Medicine

check can be used to terminate a pregnancy through

invasive means. This deals 1d4 damage to the woman

carrying the child. The damage is doubled if the

character making the Medicine check isn’t proficient

with Wisdom (Medicine).

Trauma. A pregnant woman who is at ½ or less her

maximum hit points must make a DC 15 Constitution

saving throw each time she takes damage; on a failure,

she has miscarried.

Necrotic Damage. Necrotic damage is the antithesis of

life, and new life is very fragile indeed. Any time a

pregnant woman takes any amount of necrotic damage,

she must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw.

Failure terminates the fetus.

GESTATION AND BIRTH

Different races in D&D gestate for different lengths of

time, as shown in the table to the right. This table also

shows the average number of children born to a mother

“My Hips Are Moving On Their Own!”

An unfortunately common trope in sexual literature is the idea

that a rapist might be so good at sex that the person he or she

is raping will actually enjoy it. The author thoroughly

discourages this line of thinking for reasons that should be

obvious; however, some players may prefer to play a game

where this is possible. If you want to, you’re a sick person, but

here’s the variant rule: if you roll a natural 20 on your

satisfaction check, then you ignore the normal rule that you

can’t satisfy a person you are raping and resolve the

satisfaction check normally.

(or eggs laid by a mother, for egg-laying races).

Numbers higher or lower than this are possible, but rare

and subject to DM fiat (for example, twins comprise

about 15% of human births in the real world).

BIRTH

At the end of a woman’s gestation period, she goes into

labor. The labor lasts for 4d6 hours. Labor is immensely

tiring; after just 1 hour in labor a woman gains 2 levels

of exhaustion. For every 6 hours she is in labor, she

must make a DC 10 Constitution saving throw. On a

failure, she gains another level of exhaustion. For each

6-hour period, however, a character other than the

mother can make a DC 15 Medicine check; if successful

then the mother does not suffer a level of exhaustion. At

the end of labor, the mother gives birth. Ta-da~!

Races that lay eggs instead go into labor halfway

through their total gestation (indicated on the Gestation

Length and Number of Offspring table), and their labor

lasts only ½ as long (without modifying how often they

might gain a level of exhaustion – laying eggs is,

biologically, safer for the mother). At the end of their

labor, the egg or eggs are laid, with the fetus continuing

to develop inside the egg for the remainder of the

pregnancy, hatching at the end.

A woman can’t become pregnant for 1d2 months after

she has given birth (or laid eggs, as appropriate for the

race).

The sex of a fetus is technically determined at

conception, although physically it takes a little while

before fetuses begins to differentiate into male or

female, and further most races won’t actually know the

sex of their child until the child is actually born. To

randomly determine the sex of the child, roll a d%. On a

result of 01-49, the child is male; on a result of 50-100,

the child is female.

GESTATION LENGTH AND NUMBER OF OFFSPRING

Race

Gestation

Number (average)

Aaracokra*

2 months

2d3 eggs

Aasimar

11 months

1 child

Celestial (any)

Varies**

Centaur

10 months

1 child

Dragon (any)*

12 months

2d4 eggs

Dragonborn*

5 months

1d3 eggs

Dwarf

12 months

1 child

Elf

24 months

1 child

Fey (any)

Varies**

Fiend (any)

Varies**

Firbolg

20 months

1 child

Genasi

11 months

1 child

Genie (any)

Varies**

Giant (any)

18 months

1 child

Goblinoid (any)

5 months

2d3 children

Goliath

10 months

1 child

Gnoll

6 months

2d3 children

Gnome

13 months

1 child

Half-elf

11 months

1 child

Half-orc

7 months

1d3 children

Halfling

9 months

1d2 children

Human

9 months

1 child

Kenku*

4 months

2d3 eggs

Kobold*

4 months

2d4 eggs

Lizardfolk*

6 months

2d3 eggs

Merfolk

9 months

1d2 children

Orc

6 months

2d2 children

Tabaxi

6 months

1d2 children

Tiefling

11 months

1 child

Triton

9 months

1 child

Yuan-ti pureblood*

9 months

1d3 eggs

*These races hatch from eggs

** Dungeon Master fiat

PART TWO: SEXUAL CHARACTERS

The following details are added to various character

races and classes. These are in addition to standard

features, not replacements or alternates. The idea here is

to keep things simple and to not require a player to

build a mechanically inefficient character just because

he or she also wants to build a sex god.

SEX AMONG RACES

The various races of Dungeons & Dragons have the

following features added to them. This section also

includes some details about their views on sex.

AARACOKRA

The avian aaracockra are not known for the sexual

prowess. In truth, most aaracokra lack much in the way

of a sex drive, viewing sex as mostly something done

for procreation, not pleasure.

Aaracokra gain no racial traits related to sex.

AASIMAR

Aasimar views on sex vary wildly from one individual

to the next; however, many aasmiar are known for their

physical beauty and force of personality that makes

them quite alluring.

Seductive. You have advantage on Charisma checks

to seduce someone

DRAGONBORN

Like aaracokra, dragonborn are not a particularly

sensual people. However, they are known for their

robustness and toughness, which do translate well in

the bedchambers.

Enduring. You have advantage on Constitution checks

made to avoid exhaustion from having sex more than

once in an hour.

DWARF

Most dwarf clans view sex as strictly for procreation

between a husband and wife. However, dwarves

thoroughly encourage a husband and wife to get it on as

often as possible, so as to increase the size of the clan

and counteract their relatively low fertility.

Enduring. You have advantage on Constitution checks

made to avoid exhaustion from having sex more than

once in an hour.

Infertile. You have disadvantage on checks to

impregnate (if male) or become pregnant (if female)

ELF

Elves are an alluring, sensual race that greatly benefits

from their long lives where matters of sex are

concerned. When one can live nearly a millennium, one

tends to pick up quite a few tricks, particularly since

elven culture is fairly permissive and lax about sexual

adventures.

Imaginative. You have advantage on Wisdom saving

throws made to endure foreplay.

Infertile. You have disadvantage on checks to

impregnate (if male) or become pregnant (if female)

FIRBOLG

The reclusive and shy firbolg don’t encounter others of

their kind outside of their immediate families very

often, meaning that despite their long lives they have no

particular kinks as a race.

Infertile. You have disadvantage on checks to

impregnate (if male) or become pregnant (if female)

GENASI

While often physically alluring, genasi have no

particular sex drives as compared to other races, being

neither particularly horny nor chaste.

Genasi gain no racial traits related to sex.

GOBLINOID

The three goblinoid races – goblins, hobgoblins, and

bugbears – have sex often, principally as a means of

producing children. Powerful goblinoids will often take

multiple partners as a sign of their strength and power,

but goblinoids lack style and finesse with their sex.

Fertile. You have advantage on checks to impregnate

(if male) or become pregnant (if female).

GOLIATH

Goliaths typically choose only a single partner and mate

for life, having sex only with that partner. The harsh

climes and conditions that they live in typically leave

little time for adventurous sex – but on the other hand,

goliaths can keep going for a long time thanks to their

stamina.

Enduring. You have advantage on Constitution checks

made to avoid exhaustion from having sex more than

once in an hour.

Infertile. You have disadvantage on checks to

impregnate (if male) or become pregnant (if female)

GNOME

Gnomes enjoy sex almost recreationally. They are not

one for forming close attachments to individuals, but

rather to the community as a whole. Group sex is

common, and the gnomish love of pranks and jests is a

fundamental part of their sex lives.

Imaginative. You have advantage on Wisdom saving

throws made to endure foreplay.

HALF-ELF

Half-elves tend to view sex like either humans or elves,

depending on who raised them. Their natural charm

aids them well, although many half-elves suffer

awkward first years in spite of this: they reach puberty

later than humans and so “fall behind” their human

friends’ interest in sex, while those raised by elves

mature rapidly and desire sexual activity at a younger

age than their peers.

Seductive. You have advantage on Charisma checks

to seduce someone.

HALF-ORC

Half-orcs, like their full-blooded kin, tend to like sex

rough and are innately promiscuous. While some find

their semi-orcish appearance unattractive, there are

plenty others for whom that is their fetish – which is

well rewarded once they get into bed.

Enduring. You have advantage on Constitution checks

made to avoid exhaustion from having sex more than

once in an hour.

HALFLING

Halflings don’t really need an excuse to party, and a

natural result of partying tends to be sex sooner or later.

Halflings have no particular kinks or skills beyond what

other races have, though many halflings find the idea of

sex with larger humanoids surprisingly alluring, given

how often they otherwise hate being treated by them.

Halflings gain no racial traits related to sex.

HUMAN

Human perceptions on sex run the gamut from

restrictive to permissive, depending on the time period

and culture. Particularly in the fantasy worlds of

Dungeons & Dragons, no generalizations can be made.

Humans gain no racial traits related to sex.

KENKU

Kenku almost exclusively have group sex. They have no

concept whatsoever of monogamy, and any act of sex

that two kenku begin is likely to be joined by other

kenku in the flock. Despite this, their lack of creativity

means that kenku are fairly boring and standard in bed

when left to their own devices.

Kenku gain no racial traits related to sex.

KOBOLD

In most D&D worlds, kobolds lack a sex drive

altogether. Sex is exclusively for procreation, with those

rare kobolds who do derive pleasure and thrill from it

being seen as weird at best and degenerate at worst.

Even “love” is a foreign concept to most kobolds, with

many viewing it as a sort of mental illness.

Fertile. You have advantage on checks to impregnate

(if male) or become pregnant (if female)

LIZARDFOLK

Lizardfolk are a fertile species during specific times of

the year, usually the hottest parts of summer. For the

rest of the year, they show no interest in sexual

relations. While the sex itself is fairly standard,

lizardfolk often engage in elaborate mating rituals with

one another.

Lizardfolk gain no racial traits related to sex.

ORC

To orcs, sex is a form of dominance, and sexual desire is

intertwined with feelings of superiority – the longer you

can last and the more you can force to have sex with

you, the stronger you are. Powerful orcs don’t tend to

care for the gender of the person they’re having sex

with, only that they are the ones on top and dominating.

Enduring. You have advantage on Constitution checks

made to avoid exhaustion from having sex more than

once in an hour.

Fertile. You have advantage on checks to impregnate

(if male) or become pregnant (if female)

TABAXI

Driven by curiosity and a desire for new experiences,

it’s little surprise that tabaxi are sexually adventurous.

Also, cat girls. Anyway, tabaxi culture has few taboos

on sex: as long as everyone involved is a consenting

adult, they don’t care about the other details.

Imaginative. You have advantage on Wisdom saving

throws made to endure foreplay.

TIEFLING

Like aasimars, tieflings have few unifying views on sex

and sexual relations. Their physical appearance can be

darkly alluring to some, however, giving them a natural

seductiveness regardless of their own personal tastes.

Seductive. You have advantage on Charisma checks

to seduce someone

TRITON

Tritons enjoy bragging about their abilities, and this

includes their sexual prowess, with tritons trying to

impress one another with how long they can last and

how good they are in bed.

Enduring. You have advantage on Constitution checks

made to avoid exhaustion from having sex more than

once in an hour.

YUAN-TI PUREBLOOD

The subtle serpentine features of a yuan-ti pureblood

are incredibly alluring to some people. Yuan-ti

themselves practice sex often, having entire libraries

filled with musings on techniques and tricks. Sex is a

form of power to most yuan-ti, but yuan-ti enjoy

indulging in it for its own sake as well.

Imaginative. You have advantage on Wisdom saving

throws made to endure foreplay.

Seductive. You have advantage on Charisma checks

to seduce someone

SEX AMONG CLASSES

Each class in D&D gains two sexual abilities at 1st level,

as outlined below. No specific details about how each

class deals with sex are provided, as they vary greatly

from individual to individual.

These features are additive – they do not replace any

existing features. However, you only gain the sexual

features of the first class you took levels in. If you are a

cleric and decide to multiclass into the fighter class, you

do not gain the fighter’s Prowess or Gets The Blood

Flowing features, for example.

BARBARIAN

Barbarians gain the following sexual features.

HITHER YOU COME

When you have sex, you can choose to last a number of

additional minutes equal to your rage bonus damage.

Once you use this ability a number of times equal to

your Constitution modifier, you must finish a long rest

before using it again.

TREAD THE JEWELED THRONES

You may choose to gain an additional use of Rage at the

end of an act of sex, provided you satisfied at least one

partner. If you do, your satisfied partner(s) also gain

one use of rage, which they retain until they finish a

long rest. Once you use this ability, you can’t use it

again until you finish a long rest.

BARD

Bards gain the following sexual features.

LOVE SONG

As an action, you can gain advantage on seduction

checks. Once you use this ability a number of times

equal to your Charisma modifier, you must finish a long

rest before using it again.

ROCK THE BED

You may choose to gain an inspiration die at the end of

an act of sex, provided you satisfied at least one partner

(this is an exception to the normal rule that bards can’t

grant themselves inspiration dice). If you do, your

satisfied partner(s) also gain an inspiration die. Once

you use this ability, you can’t use it again until you

finish a long rest.

CLERIC

Clerics gain the following sexual features.

ORDAINED BIRTH CONTROL

When you have sex, you may choose to impose

advantage or disadvantage on a pregnancy roll you

make. Once you use this ability a number of times equal

to your Wisdom modifier, you must finish a long rest

before using it again.

SACRED ACT

You may choose to gain advantage on Wisdom saving

throws at the end of an act of sex, provided you

satisfied at least one partner. This lasts until the end of

your next long rest. If you do, your satisfied partner(s)

gain the same benefit. Once you use this ability, you

can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

DRUID

Druids gain the following sexual features.

BODY CONTROL

When you impregnate or become pregnant, you can

choose the sex and race of the fetus or fetuses, subject to

DM approval.

WILD STYLE

You may choose to gain one extra use of Wild Shape at

the end of each act of sex, provided you satisfied at least

one partner. If you do, your satisfied partner(s) also

gain one use of Wild Shape, at your level and Circle,

which lasts until they finish a long rest. Once you use

this ability, you can’t use it again until you finish a long

rest.

FIGHTER

Fighters gain the following sexual features.

PROWESS

When you have sex, you can use your Strength,

Dexterity, or Constitution score to determine how long

you can last, rather than your Constitution score. Once

you use this ability a number of times equal to your

Strength modifier, you must finish a long rest before

using it again.

GETS THE BLOOD FLOWING

You may choose to gain an additional use of Action

Surge at the end of an act of sex, provided you satisfied

at least one partner. If you do, your satisfied partner(s)

gain the same benefit until they finish a long rest. Once

you use this ability, you can’t use it again until you

finish a long rest.

MONK

Monks gain the following sexual features.

TANTRIC KNOWLEDGE

At will, each 10 minutes of foreplay grants you a +2

bonus on satisfaction checks, rather than +1 bonus.

Once you use this ability for foreplay a number of times

equal to your Wisdom modifier, you must finish a long

rest before using it again.

KAMA SUTRA

You may choose to gain 2 ki points at the end of an act

of sex, provided you satisfied at least one partner. If you

do, your satisfied partner(s) gain the same benefit until

they finish a long rest. Once you use this ability, you

can’t use it again until you finish a long rest. Characters

not of the monk class who gain ki points gain access to

Flurry of Blows, Patient Defense, and Step of the Wind

for as long as they have ki.

PALADIN

Paladins gain the following sexual features.

DEUS VULT

When making a satisfaction check, you can expend

points from your Lay on Hands pool and add them to

your satisfaction check result. Once you use this ability

a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier, you

must finish a long rest before using it again.

SEXUAL HEALING

You may choose to apply the healing or curing effects of

your Lay on Hands feature to all partners you satisfy at

the end of an act of sex (in other words, for example,

you can expend 5 points from your pool to heal everyone

you have satisfied by 5 hit points, no matter how many

people were involved). Once you use this ability, you

can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

RANGER

Rangers gain the following sexual features.

THAT’S MY FETISH

At will, you may grant yourself and anyone you have

sex with advantage on Wisdom saving throws during

foreplay. Once you use this ability a number of times

equal to your Wisdom modifier, you must finish a long

rest before using it again.

RESTORATIVE FUN

You may choose to gain advantage on Constitution

saving throws at the end of an act of sex, provided you

satisfied at least one partner. This lasts until the end of

your next long rest. If you do, your satisfied partner(s)

gain the same benefit. Once you use this ability, you

can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

ROGUE

Rogues gain the following sexual features.

ROGUISHLY CHARMING

At will, you may treat any NPC you are trying to seduce

as bisexual, regardless of their actual orientation. Once

you use this ability a number of times equal to your

Charisma modifier, you must finish a long rest before

using it again.

AGILE IN BED

You may choose to gain advantage on Dexterity saving

throws at the end of an act of sex, provided you

satisfied at least one partner. This lasts until the end of

your next long rest. If you do, your satisfied partner(s)

gain the same benefit. Once you use this ability, you

can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

SORCERER

Sorcerers gain the following sexual features.

THE MAGIC TOUCH

When making a satisfaction check, you can expend

Sorcery Points and add them to your satisfaction check

result. Once you use this ability a number of times equal

to your Charisma modifier, you must finish a long rest

before using it again.

PASS IT ON

You may choose to gain access to one sorcerer cantrip

you don’t know at the end of an act of sex, provided

you satisfied at least one partner. You retain access to

this cantrip until you finish a long rest. If you gain a

cantrip in this way, your satisfied partner(s) gain the

same cantrip, using their own ability scores to

determine any spell save DCs as though they were a

sorcerer of equal level to their character level. They

retain access to this cantrip until they finish their next

long rest. Once you use this ability, you can’t use it

again until you finish a long rest.

WARLOCK

Warlocks gain the following sexual features.

TABOO

You can impregnate or become pregnant by any race,

regardless of your own race. The Dungeon Master

determines what race the resulting fetus or fetuses are.

ONE OF US

You may choose to gain an empathic link to any of your

sexual partners that you have satisfied. This empathic

link has no range, but a creature is severed from the link

if they move to another plane of existence. While it the

link is active, each person in the link knows the current

hit points and emotional state of each other person in

the link. As an action, they can impose the Blinded

condition on themselves in order to see through the eyes

of anyone else in the link. Ending this effect requires

another action. This link endures for each person in it

until he or she finishes a short or long rest.

WIZARD

Wizards gain the following sexual features.

INTELLECTUAL WOOING

When seducing a target, instead of a Deception,

Performance, or Persuasion check, you can instead roll a

d20 and add your proficiency bonus and your

Intelligence modifier.

LEARNED LOVER

After having sex, you may make use of your Arcane

Recovery feature one additional time, provided you

satisfied at least one partner. If you do, your partner(s)

also gain the benefit of Arcane Recovery for their own

class spell lists as though they were wizards. They retain

this benefit until the end of their next long rest. Once

you use this ability, you can’t use it again until you

finish a long rest.

OTHER CHARACTERISTICS

Below is a table for randomly determining sexual

fetishes for your character. In addition, a new

background is presented, the courtesan.

COURTESAN

Nobles, politicians, criminals, the common man; hell,

maybe even an orc or two. At some point in your life,

you have been with all manner of society’s finest and

worst through your profession. Your profession,

whether through freedom of choice, or a cruel twist of

unfortunate events, is one that utilizes a very specific set

of skills: the art of seduction. Though your

circumstances may be unfortunate, you use them to

your advantage.

When making a character with this background ask

yourself these question: What led your character to

these circumstances? Was it a twisted and unfortunate

fate? Or was it a vocation of choice? How much do you

charge for your services? Are you self-employed, or do

you work under a pimp? Where is your place of work?

These are the questions you must consider, for they will

shape your character, at least in the beginning.

Skill Proficiencies: Persuasion, Sleight of Hand

Tool Proficiencies: Disguise kit

Languages: One standard language of your choice.

Equipment: A set of fine clothes, a purse containing 5

gp, a disguise kit, and a small gilded mirror.

HISTORY OF SERVICE

Although open to all ways of life, a courtesan has a

story behind them, that, for the most part, discerns their

own ways of living.

History of Service

I was under the wing of royalty, always loyal to their

whims

I have broken so many hearts, either for gold or fun

I used to offer my services in a brothel

My services always opened even the best locked doors

FEATURE: THE OLDEST PROFESSION

Due to your history of work, you can obtain free

lodging in brothels or inns where you have conducted

business in the past. The owners of these establishments

can recommend other locations where you may be able

to obtain discounted lodging by dropping their name or

offering your services during your stay. If you

encounter past clients, you may be able to obtain

resources or other aid from them. Depending on your

relationship with any given client, this may be through

blackmail or through seduction.

SUGGESTED CHARACTERISTICS

Personality Trait

I am highly flamboyant; I like to exaggerate my

movements and mannerisms

My speech is like a switch; I speak either very warmly or

very coldly to everyone

I am unafraid to get up close and personal with people

or situations

I keep silent about any shortcomings I may be

experiencing. I can’t stand being pitied

I am extremely flirtatious, even with friends

I prefer to leave things finished, rather than let bygones

be bygones

I love being the center of attention

I am hesitant to name my profession when asked

Ideal

Cynicism. Everyone uses others, why should I act any

different? (Evil)

Sympathy. I sympathize with those who work hard but

gain little in their endeavors. (Good)

Pride. I love the work I do, despite what any naysayers

may call me. (Any)

Personal Gain. When I’m doing you a service, I’m

yours. If I’m not, I want nothing to do with you. (Chaotic)

Respect. My favorite climates are the ones who have

reasonable expectations and don’t stir up trouble.

(Lawful)

Independence. My body and soul are my own, no

matter what anyone else may say about me. (Neutral)

Bond

I am highly skeptical when someone offers me

something without asking for anything in return.

I don't concern myself with the turmoil spawned from

other's problems.

There is someone I'm waiting for so we can live

together.

I know a secret about one of my clients that could cost

me my life if revealed.

My clients are all I have.

I have a child, and I would do anything for them.

Flaw

Despite my own ability to read people, I myself am very

easily read by others.

If someone has some kind of debt over me, I feel

obligated to fulfill said debt no matter what.

I sometimes expect or wish for others would take care of

my problems.

Depending on the pay, I will do anything for a client.

I use any means I have at my disposal to complete a

goal.

I love presents or gifts, and cannot refuse one, even if I

know doing so is a bad idea.

SEXUAL FETISHES

A sexual fetish is a particular kink that your character

enjoys while having sex. This is a character trait similar

to a bond or flaw in that it has no mechanical effect. You

can select one or more from the table below, or

randomly determine your fetish. You can also create a

new one, since this list is hardly complete.

SEXUAL FETISHES

d20

Fetish

Group sex

Water sports/scatology

Cross-dressing

Foot worship

Spanking

Voyeurism

Exhibitionism

Sexual role-play

Domination/submission

Size difference

Spouse-swapping

Furry or scaly

Tickle play

Torture

Food

Gerontophilia (attraction to much older partners)

Anonymous sex

Interracial

Consensual sex in the missionary position with

the lights off between a married man and woman

for the purpose of procreation

Floor tiles

PART THREE: SEXUAL ITEMS

The following mundane and magical items are added to

Dungeons & Dragons in a sexual campaign.

MUNDANE ITEMS

The following new items are added to a sexual game.

ADVENTURING EQUIPMENT

These items are generally available to anyone who

wants to buy them in most towns in D&D.

Aphrodisiac. There are a great many different kinds

of supposed aphrodisiacs available in the world, but

most of them have little if any real effect. The

aphrodisiac listed here is one that actually works; it

takes the form of a vial of liquid. For one after hour

consuming it, the imbiber is automatically satisfied at

the end of an act of sex, with no satisfaction check

required. A satisfaction check can still be attempted to

see if the imbiber is left very satisfied, but a result of

“very dissatisfied” is impossible. If the imbiber is raped,

however, the rapist is still considered to have failed his

or her satisfaction check.

Birthing Kit. This specialized kit is similar to a

healer’s kit, but it contains items designed for midwives

to help a mother give birth. It grants advantage on

Wisdom (Medicine) checks specifically related to

childbirth. It is exhausted after 10 uses.

Chastity Belt. A leather belt with a metal codpiece

that fits over the wearer’s gentiles and includes a lock in

the front. It comes in either male or female variety.

Opening the lock requires a DC 15 Dexterity check,

while breaking it requires a DC 15 Strength check.

Otherwise, as long as the chastity belt is worn, it is

impossible for the wearer to be satisfied during sex.

Condom. Condoms have been around since ancient

times; they were usually made from parts of an animal

such as a goat or cow. They were not as effective as

modern versions, however. If a condom is worn during

sex, instead of rolling a d20 on the pregnancy check, roll

3d20 and take the lowest result.

Cassil. Cassil is a small shrub similar to a mustard

plant found in the Forgotten Realms; similar herbs may

or may not exist in other campaign settings. Its seeds are

ground into a fine, tasteless powder that suppresses

male fertility. Men who want to avoid fathering

children use this herb. A male humanoid who eats

about a teaspoon of cassil is rendered infertile for a

period of 3d4 days, although it requires about an hour

before the herb takes effect.

Stories abound of disloyal courtiers dosing their lords

in order to prevent conception of an heir. Using either

the Medicine or Nature skills, the effects can be detected

with a DC 15 check and countered with a DC 20 check.

ADVENTURING EQUIPMENT

Item

Cost

Weight

Aphrodisiac (per dose)

50 gp

—

Birthing kit

5 gp

1 lb.

Chastity belt

20 gp

2 lb.

Condom

1 sp

—

Desensitizing oil, vial

10 gp

—

Herbs

Cassil (per dose)

1 gp

—

Nararoot (per dose)

2 sp

—

Sensitizing oil, vial

10 gp

—

Sex toys

Ball gag

1 gp

½ lb.

Clamp

1 gp.

¼ lb.

Collar, leather

1 gp

1 lb.

Collar, metal

10 gp

2 lb.

Dildo, wooden

2 sp

1 lb.

Dildo, glass

1 gp

2 lb.

Dildo, metal

2 gp

3 lb.

Hood

5 sp

¼ lb.

Mask, leather

5 gp

—

Mask, metal

20 gp

10 lb.

Paddle, wooden

4 sp

2 lb.

Paddle, leather

6 sp

2 lb.

Paddle, metal

10 sp

4 lb.

Riding crop, rattan

1 sp

—

Riding crop, leather

7 sp

1 lb.

Whip, flogger

5 sp

1 lb.

Whip, bull

1 gp

2 lb.

Desensitizing Oil. This oil can be rubbed over a male

or female genitalia. Each vial contains enough oil for 3

doses. It reduces sensitivity and sexual stimulation for

one hour. During this time, you can have sex for a

number of minutes equal to your Constitution score,

rather than your Constitution score minus 5. If you have

the Enduring racial trait, you can instead have sex for a

number of minutes equal to his or her Constitution

score +5.

While under the effects of desensitizing oil, you can’t

have a quick fuck. Additionally, the DC to satisfy

someone who is under the effects of desensitizing oil is

increased by 5.

Nararoot. Nararoot is a black, woody tuber with a

licorice-like flavor, found in the Forgotten Realms.

Shavings steeped in hot water make a strong tea that

renders a woman infertile for d4+2 days. Chewed raw,

the root tastes unpleasant, but the effects are more

potent, lasting 2d4+4 days. Women who do not wish to

become pregnant use nararoot. Using either the

Medicine or Nature skills, the effects can be detected

with a DC 15 check and countered with a DC 20 check.

Sensitizing Oil. One dose of this oil rubbed into the

genitals increasing sensitivity and sexual stimulation.

While under its effects, you can have sex for a number

of minutes equal to your Constitution score minus 10

(minimum 1 minute). If you have the Enduring racial

trait, you can instead have sex for a number of minutes

equal to your Constitution score minus 5. However, the

DC to satisfy someone who is under the effects of

sensitizing oil is decreased by 5.

Sex Toys. What gets you off is not this author’s

concern. However, using sex toys during foreplay lets

you add +2 to your satisfaction checks per 10 minutes of

foreplay, rather than +1. Multiple sex toys do not

provide a stacking bonus.

Additionally, the following standard equipment can

be used as sex toys: candle, chain, manacles, rope

(hempen or silk), and sealing wax.

Some sex toys impose specific rules, as well:

Ball gag. While wearing a ball gag, you can’t speak

and thus can’t cast spells with verbal components.

Clamp. While wearing a clamp, you have

disadvantage on concentration checks.

Dildo. While a dildo is inserted inside of you, you

have disadvantage on concentration checks. A dildo can

also be used as an improvised weapon with the same

statistics as a club, except it only deals 1d4 bludgeoning

damage.

Hood. You are blinded for as long as you are wearing

a hood.

Paddle. A paddle can be used as an improvised

weapon with the same statistics as a club.

Riding crop. A riding crop can be used as an

improvised weapon with the same statistics as a club,

except that it deals only 1d4 bludgeoning damage.

Whip. A flogger or bullwhip can be used as an

improvised weapon with the same statistics as a whip,

except that a bullwhip lacks the reach property.

SEXUAL SERVICES

The following are additional services available to player

characters in a sexual game.

Brothel Stay. A brothel (also called a bordello, a

gentleman’s club, a whorehouse, or a number of other

epithets) is a place where both room and prostitute are

provided on an hourly basis. Poor brothel rooms have

little more than four walls, a door, and a sleeping mat,

while classy brothels might include luxurious beds,

baths, incense, and even food and drink, doubling as an

inn if you pay the fee.

Escort. An escort is a companion who accompanies a

person to social functions. In addition to looking good,

escorts are often well versed in the arts of conversation

SEXUAL SERVICES

Service

Cost

Brothel stay (per hour)

Poor

5 cp

Common

5 sp

Classy

5 gp

Escort (per hour)

1 gp

Masseuse (per session)

2 sp

Happy ending

1 gp

Prostitute (per hour)

Poor

2 cp

Common

2 sp

Classy

2 gp

and diplomacy. Strictly speaking an escort is not a

prostitute, but many escorts are willing to include sex as

part of the evening’s tasks if properly seduced (at

double the normal cost). It is expected that the buyer of

the escort’s time will also pay for any fees or meals the

escort eats. Escorts will use the Help action on any

Deception, Insight, or Persuasion check their buyer

makes.

Masseuse. A masseuse is someone trained in the art of

giving massages for health, relaxation, or eroticism. A

talented masseur can knead tired muscles and rub

fragrant, relaxing oils into the skin. This is a sensual, not

sexual, activity…but many massage parlors have a

tradition of a “happy ending” whereby sex may be

bought for an additional fee. A massage session takes

one hour. At the end of the hour, you lose 1 level of

exhaustion. You may benefit from a massage only once

per long rest in this way.

Prostitute. A lady (or man) of the evening who woos

passersby for sexual favors in exchange for money.

Most prostitutes claim a street corner, alleyway, dock,

or other location as his or her “turf” and fights with

others to find the best location. A prostitute will

perform sex where asked, usually behind buildings, in

alleys, or in the backs of a wagon. Many prostitutes

have a pimp to whom they give some or all of their take

for the night.

MAGICAL ITEMS

The following new magic items are added to a sexual

game.

AMULET OF FLUIDITY

Wondrous item, rare (requires attunement)

While wearing this amulet, you may change your sex as

an action to male, female, both, or neither. Changing sex

in this way has no impact on your sexual preferences.

You can impregnate or become pregnant as normal for

your current sex. If you become pregnant, you can’t

change your sex until either the fetus is terminated or

you give birth.

ARTIFICIAL WOMB

Wondrous item, legendary

This thick glass bottle is two feet on a side and filled

with a gelatinous liquid. Placing 1 ounce of blood into

the liquid causes it to, for lack of a better term, become

pregnant, producing a single fetus, which takes as long

to gestate as is normal for its race. A single person can

use just his or her own blood to, in essence, produce a

clone, although the baby has none of the memories or

personality of its lone parent. Alternatively, two or

more people can contribute blood to the artificial womb

to produce a child that is a mix of all the contributors. In

this way, a child can have more than two biological

parents, and can even be the product of races that

would normally be incompatible

The Dungeon Master determines the specific race and

sex of the resulting fetus, but it is otherwise always a

perfectly normal and healthy example of its kind.

Once the fetus has finished gestating, liquid inside of

the artificial womb disappears (thereby ensuring that the

new baby doesn’t drown). It reappears after 1 week, at

which point the artificial womb can be used again.

BIKINI ARMOR, +1, +2, OR +3

Armor (light, medium, or heavy), rare (+1), very rare (+2), or

legendary (+3)

This armor reveals significant portions of its wearer’s

body, including the thighs, arms, most or all of the

chest, most of the buttocks, and most or all of the navel

and back. Nevertheless, the armor not only functions

normally, but indeed grants a bonus to AC. The bonus

is determined by its rarity.

Additionally, you have a bonus to seduction checks

while wearing this armor. The bonus is likewise

determined by the armor’s rarity.

BOOK OF EROTIC FANTASY

Wondrous item, artifact (requires attunement)

This book is bound in soft felt and decorated with

sexual images. It is held closed by an attached silken

scarf, but any creature may untie the scarf to read the

Book of Erotic Fantasy’s contents; the book audibly sighs

enticingly when this happens. Contained inside is an

illustrated treatise of sensuality and sexuality

unequalled in the entire multiverse. Once the book is

opened, the attuned creature must spend 80 hours

reading and studying the book to digest its contents and

gain its benefits. Other creatures that peruse the book’s

open pages can read the text – and observe the

illustrations – but glean no deeper meaning and reap no

benefits.

Benefits gained by the Book of Erotic Fantasy last only

as long as you strive to lead a sexually free lifestyle

(though the book does not require you to change your

sexual preferences). If you go 10 days without having

consensual sex, you lose all benefits granted by the

book.

Random Properties. The Book of Erotic Fantasy has the

following random properties:

 2 minor beneficial properties

 1 major beneficial property

 1 minor detrimental property

Ability Score Increase. After you spend the requisite

amount of time reading and studying the book, your

choice of Charisma or Constitution increases by 2, then

the ability score you didn’t choose increases by 1.

Sexual Prowess. Once you’ve read and studied the

book, any time you have sex thereafter, your partner or

partners are never dissatisfied nor extremely

dissatisfied. You still roll to see if your partner(s) are

extremely satisfied. You gain a bonus to this roll equal

to your Charisma modifier. Furthermore, you have

advantage on Wisdom saving throws made to endure

foreplay.

Body Mastery. Once you’ve read and studied the

book, you gain mastery over your reproductive system.

When you would make a pregnancy check, you can

choose to have that check be automatically successful or

unsuccessful.

Fawning Loyalty. Once you’ve read and studied the

book, any sexual partner you leave extremely satisfied is

charmed by you. The charm effect lasts for a year and a

day.

Destroying the Book. The Book of Erotic Fantasy can be

infected by a red slaad’s egg and a blue slaad’s chaos

phage (it has a +11 bonus to Constitution saves for this

purpose). This infection lasts for 7 days. While this will

not result in the book transforming into a slaad nor the

birth of a slaad tadpole, the infected book can then be

taken to the Clockwork Nirvana of Mechanus and

brought before Primus, the One and the Prime, who can

then destroy the infected book.

CONDOM OF CERTAINTY

Wondrous item, rare

While wearing this condom, any pregnancy check you

would make fails automatically. The condom is

reusable, though it is advised you wash it between uses.

Curse. There is a 10% chance that a condom of certainty

is cursed. A cursed condom of certainty instead has any

pregnancy check you would make while wearing the

condom succeed automatically, provided that you are

otherwise compatible with your sexual partner(s).

CUPID’S CHAOTIC ARROW

Ammunition (arrow), artifact (requires attunement)

This arrow is red in coloration, with brighter scarlet

fletching and a head shaped like a heart. Cupid’s chaotic

arrow can be fired like a normal arrow, however unlike

normal arrows it is not destroyed after its use, but rather

returns to its owner’s hand.

Cupid’ chaotic arrow has a number of different effects,

as follows.

Random Properties. Cupid’s chaotic arrow has the

following random properties.

 1 minor beneficial properties

 1 minor detrimental property

Attack bonus. You have a +3 bonus to attack rolls

with Cupid’s chaotic arrow. However, the arrow deals no

damage to a creature it strikes.

Random Effect. Once you hit with the arrow, it has a

random effect, as determined by the table on the

following column. All saving throws are made against a

DC of 17.

Destroying the Arrow. The arrow can only be

destroyed by a god or goddess of love. They are fairly

unlikely to do so, however, as most enjoy the chaos that

the arrow creates.

DETACHABLE PENIS

Wondrous item, rare

As an action, you can place this dildo against the clitoris

of a woman and speak a command word to have it meld

to the woman, becoming a flesh-and-blood, perpetually

erect penis of appropriate size to the woman it has

attached to. The woman can thereafter use the penis

exactly as though she had one naturally, albeit with no

chance of the woman impregnating another woman.

The detachable penis does not cover the vagina and as

such the woman can still be penetrated and

impregnated as normal. The detachable penis can be

detached by speaking the command word again;

otherwise, it falls off after 1 hour has passed.

FIGURINE OF THE WILLING

WONTON

Wondrous item, very rare (requires attunement)

This appears as a tiny (an inch or so high) statuette of a

lovely male or female of a given race. When the figurine

is tossed down and a command word is spoken, it

becomes a very attractive, living person of the race and

sex the statue depicts that will serve you willingly and

well for 12 hours. The figurine does not come with any

gear or clothes. It uses the Commoner statistics from the

Monster Manual.

4d6

Effect

The arrow is reflected back at you, using the attack roll

you made. If it hits, roll again to determine its effect,

ignoring this result if it comes up a second time.

The victim’s Charisma score decreases by 2

permanently, to a minimum of 1.

6-7

The victim is rendered sterile for the next 1d4 days. All

pregnancy checks made by or concerning the victim

automatically fail during this time.

8-9

The victim must make a Charisma saving throw.

On a failure, his or her seduction DC is reduced by 5 for

the next 1d4 days.

10-12

The victim must make a Charisma saving throw.

On a failure, he or she is charmed by the next

living creature he or she sees. The charm lasts for 1d4

days.

13-15

The victim must make a Charisma saving throw.

On a failure, he or she will permanently fall in love with

the next living creature he or she sees,

gaining the bond “I am madly in love with this

person.”

16-18

The victim must make a Charisma saving throw.

On a failure, he or she is charmed by the next

living creature he or she sees. The charm lasts for 1d4

days.

19-20

The victim must make a Charisma saving throw.

On a failure, his or her satisfaction DC is reduced

by 5 for the next 1d4 days.

21-22

The victim is rendered incredibly fertile for the next 1d4

days. All pregnancy checks made by or

concerning the victim automatically succeed

during this time.

The victim’s Charisma score increases by 2

permanently, to a maximum of 30.

Roll twice, ignoring this result if it comes up a

second time.

GIRDLE OF

MASCULINITY/FEMININITY

Wondrous item, uncommon

This magical girdle appears to be a belt of giant strength,

or some other magical belt.

Curse. This item is cursed and does not actually

function as the belt it appears to be. Instead, once

donned, the item causes your sex to reverse – a man

becomes a woman, or a woman becomes a man. Your

character is otherwise unchanged in terms of statistics,

personality, or sexual preferences – a heterosexual man

who is transformed into a woman still finds himself

attracted to women, for example.

You are fully the sex you have transformed into; in

other words, you can impregnate or become pregnant as

relevant to your new sex. If you are currently pregnant,

you can’t be transformed by the girdle. If you become

pregnant while under the effects of the girdle, its curse

can’t be undone until the pregnancy ends, either by

giving birth or termination of the fetus.

Removing the girdle does not undo the curse it puts

you under, although each girdle can affect only one

character at a time. Otherwise, the curse of the girdle can

be broken in the usual ways.

GIRDLE OF SPEEDY GESTATION

Wondrous item, very rare (requires attunement)

While wearing this girdle, your pregnancy last for only

1/10th the normal time. This has no ill effects on either

you or the fetus you are carrying. If the girdle of speedy

gestation is removed during your pregnancy, your

pregnancy resumes its normal pace.

GREATER DETACHABLE PENIS

Wondrous item, very rare

This item functions as a detachable penis, except that a

woman can use it to impregnate her partner(s),

provided they are otherwise compatible. The resulting

fetus is a perfectly healthy, normal example of its kind.

The greater detachable penis may or may not include a

visible ball sack, as preferred by the creator of the magic

item.

IMPERIAL CLOTHES

Wondrous item, rare

These regal, opulent clothes are made of cloth-of-gold

and studded with diamonds. While wearing them, your

Charisma score increases by 2.

Curse. These clothes are cursed. After 1d4 minutes,

the clothes turn invisible to everyone except you – that

is, as far as anyone other than you can tell, you are

walking around naked. Furthermore, you must make a

DC 15 Wisdom save. On a failure, you are convinced

that your clothes are visible and refuse to believe

anyone who tells you otherwise.

THE OTHER ROD OF WONDER

Wondrous Item, very rare

This magical, phallic rod is hollow. As an action, you

can slip the other rod of wonder over your penis. While it

is so equipped, you can place your penis against a

creature’s orifice and speak a command word, causing

both the other rod of wonder and the penis it contains to

grow or shrink to a perfect size to fit the orifice it has

been placed against. This causes you no harm and

allows you to ignore the usual size penalty to

satisfaction checks and the damage you would inflict if

having sex with a creature smaller than you

A separate command word causes your penis and the

other rod of wonder to grow or shrink again to its normal

size; otherwise, the effect lasts for 1 hour. The other rod of

wonder can’t grow or shrink if it or your penis are

currently inside of an orifice.

PERIAPT OF PROOF

AGAINST PREGNANCY

Wondrous item, rare (requires attunement)

This engraved gem appears to be a jewel of small value.

While wearing it, it is impossible for you to impregnate

(if male) or become pregnant (if female).

PHALLIC WEAPON, +1, +2, OR +3

Weapon (any), uncommon (+1), rare (+2), or very rare (+3)

You gain a bonus to attack and damage rolls made with

this magic weapon, which looks like male genitalia. The

size of the bonus is determined by the weapon’s rarity.

Additionally, the weapon functions as a sex toy. If

used during sex itself, it grants you a bonus to your

satisfaction check, also determined by its rarity. It

inflicts no damage when used for sex.

POTION OF SEXUALITY

Wondrous item, uncommon

After imbibing this potion, your sexuality changes for

24 hours. Each potion of sexuality changes your sexuality

to one of the following options. See Chapter 1 for more

information about what each sexuality entails.

Sexuality

Exclusively heterosexual

Usually homosexual

Generally heterosexual

Generally homosexual

Usually heterosexual

Exclusively homosexual

Bisexual

Asexual

If you are already of the sexuality entailed by the

potion, then the potion has no effect on you.

Unlike normal potions, you can’t discern this one’s

effects by tasting it. Indeed, the potion has no taste and

can be added to another drink without the imbiber

being aware of the potion’s presence.

The potion of sexuality does not necessarily make you

any more or less promiscuous than you were before. If

you are unwilling to have your sexuality changed

(including if you don’t realize that you are drinking a

potion of sexuality), then you are entitled to a DC 13

Charisma saving throw. Success negates its effects.

RING OF CHASTITY

Wondrous item, uncommon (requires attunement)

While wearing this unassuming pewter ring, your

sexual orientation becomes asexual. Additionally, any

man you touch cannot get nor maintain an erection for

as long as you touch him while wearing the ring.

RING OF SEXUALITY DETECTION

Wondrous item, very rare (requires attunement)

A very simple ring with a white, semiprecious stone set

in the side. While wearing this ring, as an action you can

target a creature within 30 feet. That creature must

make a DC 15 Charisma saving throw. If the creature

fails, then you learn the creature’s sexual orientation.

The creature doesn’t know that it has been targeted by

the ring unless it succeeds on a DC 20 Perception check.

SAXOPHONE OF SEDUCTION

Wondrous item, rare (requires attunement by a bard)

This saxophone looks like an ordinary example of its

kind. However, if you play it while making a seduction

check, you have advantage on the check, and may

additionally make a single seduction check to attempt

seduce everyone who can hear the saxophone.

SHIRT OF VITALITY

Wondrous item, rare

Any corpse or undead wearing this shirt is affected by a

gentle repose spell for as long as it continues to wear the

shirt. While primarily used to allow the deceased to be

transported long distances without rotting, an undead

creature wearing this shirt that has all its sexual organs

intact can impregnate (if male) or become pregnant and

carry a fetus to term (if female).

PART FOUR: SEXUAL MAGIC

Previous incarnations of documents like this tended to

include reams upon reams of new spells dedicated

solely to sex. However, because the overall theme of 5th

Edition Dungeons & Dragons can be summarized as

“keep it simple, stupid”, this part is instead going to be

focused on describing how existing magic spells can be

used to affect your prowess in bed. Basically they are

new qualities to existing spells that apply only to sex;

anyone who knows the spell in question automatically

knows how to “make the magic happen.”

Other spells may be used to have sex, of course; the

list below simply outlines new or esoteric uses of

existing spells in the Player’s Handbook.

CANTRIPS

The following qualities are added to the various

cantrips outlined below.

Druidcraft. Using this spell, when you would roll a

pregnancy check, you may add 1d4 or subtract 1d4 from

the check result (your choice).

Prestidigitation. Using this spell, when you would

roll a seduction check, you may add 1d4 or subtract 1d4

from the check result (your choice).

Thaumaturgy. Using this spell, when you would roll a

satisfaction check, you may add 1d4 or subtract 1d4

from the check result (your choice).

1ST-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 1st-

level spells outlined below.

Animal Friendship. Beasts charmed by animal

friendship still can’t be seduced.

Bane. The effects of this spell also apply to seduction

checks that a creature makes.

Bless. The effects of this spell also apply to seduction

checks that a creature makes.

Charm Person. Seduction checks against a creature

affected by this spell have advantage.

Entangle. If you have sex with someone while lying in

an area affected by entangle, you have advantage on

checks to satisfy them.

False Life. For the duration of this spell, you have

advantage on all Constitution checks to avoid

exhaustion from having sex.

Find Familiar. No, you can’t seduce your familiar; it’s

still subject to normal beast rules.

Find Steed. No, you can’t. It’s still a beast.

Goodberry. For each goodberry you eat before having

sex, you can endure an additional minute. This effect

wears off at the end of your next long rest.

Unseen Servant. At your discretion, any servants

created by this spell can be “anatomically correct”, if

you will. Male or female, your choice for each servant at

its creation. They have limitless stamina and so can keep

fucking or endure getting fucked until their partner(s)

get off or until the spell ends. However, they can’t be

satisfied.

2ND-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 2nd-

level spells outlined below.

Crown of Madness. Seduction checks against a

creature affected by this spell have advantage.

Detect Thoughts. While under the effects of this spell,

you have advantage on checks made at the end of sex to

satisfy your partner or partners, since you know just

what they like.

Enlarge/Reduce. The effects of this spell are

unchanged; just making a note here that this is a good

way for a smaller creature to get around the problems of

having sex with a larger one (or vice-versa).

Enthrall. You have advantage on checks to seduce

creatures affected by this spell.

Find Traps. In addition to the spell’s normal effects,

you can sense if anyone in the vicinity is attempting to

disguise their true (biological) sex, such as a man

dressed as a woman. As normal, this merely lets you

know that there are “traps” in the vicinity, it does not

point out the specific individuals who are so disguised.

Gentle Repose. A still-animate, corporeal undead that

has all of its, shall we say, “bits and pieces” intact, can

be targeted by this spell. If it is unwilling, it may make a

Charisma saving throw, success negates it (unintelligent

undead are always unwilling). Otherwise, an undead

creature affected by this spell can impregnate or become

pregnant, as relevant to its gender. Note that female

undead will have to have this spell continuously cast

upon them for the pregnancy’s duration in order to

carry the child to term successfully; otherwise, at the

conclusion of the spell, the fetus is automatically

terminated.

3RD-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 3rd-

level spells outlined below.

Animate Dead. The undead created by this spell can

be used for sexual purposes if you really, really want,

sicko.

Bestow Curse. In addition to its normal options, you

can use this spell to render a target infertile for its

duration: all pregnancy checks the target makes or is

subject to fail automatically.

Haste. A creature currently affected by this spell can

have sex for only half their normal length of time before

orgasming, which will of course negatively affect their

satisfaction rolls.

Slow. A creature currently affected by this spell can

have sex for twice their normal length before

orgasming. This will of course positively affect their

satisfaction rolls.

4TH-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 4th-

level spells outlined below.

Aura of Life. All pregnancy checks made within the

area of this spell are automatically successful.

Blight. A pregnant woman who fails her save against

this spell has her pregnancy terminated automatically.

Conjure Minor Elementals. A conjured elemental can

be seduced like any other NPC. Forcing one to have sex

with you is rape.

Conjure Woodland Beings. A conjured fey can be

seduced like any other NPC. Forcing one to have sex

with you is rape.

Death Ward. Pregnant women affected by this spell

have advantage on any check made to avoid losing their

fetus.

Dominate Beast. Yes, you can use this the way you

think you can. Weirdo.

Evard’s Black Tentacles. When you cast this spell,

you can choose to have it not deal any damage for its

duration. If you do, its duration becomes 10 minutes.

Creatures within the area of effect of the spell that have

sex with the tentacles are automatically satisfied (no

check required) at the end of the spell’s duration. You

can also use the tentacles in this way to rape people, but

as normal they’re not actually satisfied. Arigato, tako-

sama.

Polymorph. A creature changed into a beast or other

unintelligent creature can still be seduced if its original

form could otherwise be seduced. Kinky and

thoroughly weird, guy.

5TH-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 5th-

level spells outlined below.

Animate Objects. The objects animated by this spell

can be used for sexual purposes. Kinky.

Awaken. An awakened beast or plant can be seduced,

unlike a normal beast or plant. Understand that I am

giving you a disapproving look, however.

Circle of Power. Each creature in the area of effect can

have sex for an additional number of minutes equal to

your spellcasting ability modifier.

Conjure Elemental. A conjured elemental can be

seduced like any other NPC. Forcing one to have sex

with you is rape.

Dominate Person. Yes, you can use enchantment

magic to rape someone. Because it is rape.

Hallow. This spell gains an additional effect option:

All pregnancy checks made within the hallowed area

have advantage or disadvantage (your choice).

Planar Binding. The summoned creature can be

seduced as normal, but most summoned creatures are

not precisely amenable to the idea and so the DC is

raised by 5 (the DM may make exceptions to this, such

as a summoned succubus). A creature actually bound to

your will can be forced to provide sex, but doing so is

usually rape (again, succubi are usually an exception).

6TH-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 6th-

level spells outlined below.

Conjure Fey. A conjured fey can be seduced like any

other NPC. Forcing one to have sex with you is rape.

Create Undead. You can command the created ghouls

to have sex with you. It’s rape, though. Also, gross.

Find the Path. While affected by this spell, you have

advantage on checks to satisfy female partners. Because

it personally amuses me.

Flesh to Stone. If this spell targets a male, you can

selectively turn only one portion of the masculine

anatomy into stone for its duration. You know which

one. While it is stone, the man cannot get off, but he has

advantage on checks to satisfy his sexual partner or

partners. Again, because it personally amuses me.

Hero’s Feast. When you cast this spell, choose one of

the following additional effects, which last for as long as

the spell’s other effects do: All creatures who partake of

the feast can have sex for twice as long; or all creatures

who partake of this feast make pregnancy checks with

advantage.

Otto’s Irresistible Dance. Instead of making the

target dance, you can make them start to masturbate.

The mechanics of the spell are unchanged.

Planar Ally. The service you can bargain for can be

sex, and this replaces the normal seduction rolls.

7TH-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 7th-

level spells outlined below.

Conjure Celestial. A conjured celestial can be seduced

like any other NPC. They will not submit to being

raped, nor rape a target, as either one would violate

their alignment.

Finger of Death. If a pregnant woman fails her saving

throw against this spell, her pregnancy is terminated.

Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion. At your

discretion when you create the mansion, it can be a

pleasure palace. Creatures in the mansion have

advantage on satisfaction checks.

Sequester. Buckle up for this one. When casting

sequester on a willing pregnant woman, you can target

the fetus she is carrying instead of the woman herself. If

you do so, then the fetus stops developing and cannot

be terminated for the duration of the sequester spell. A

pregnant woman who’s fetus has been sequestered can’t

become pregnant.

8TH-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 8th-

level spells outlined below.

Dominate Monster. Yes you can, but understand that

this is rape, no two ways about it.

Telepathy. For the duration of this spell, you have

advantage on checks to satisfy your sexual partners, as

you know exactly what they like.

9TH-LEVEL

The following qualities are added to the various 9th-

level spells outlined below.

Gate. A creature summoned through a gate spell can

be seduced as normal. Forcing them to have sex with

you is rape.

Shapechange. A creature changed into a beast or other

unintelligent creature can still be seduced if its original

form could otherwise be seduced. Still weird, dude.

True Polymorph. As shapechange above.

Wish. You can’t make anyone fall in love with anyone

else, but when you use this spell to duplicate another

spell, this will include the sexual aspects of the spell.

PART FIVE: SEXUAL MONSTERS

The following new sexual monsters are presented for

your deviant pleasure. Each one includes its seduction

and satisfaction DCs in the stat block. While designed

with sexual encounters in mind, they do not necessarily

have to be run in sexual games. A hungry alraune can

make a great enemy for even normal games, while a

philotes makes an excellent low-CR angel if you want

your players to encounter a divine being that isn’t on

the same level as a planetar or solar.

Alraune

Alraune are forest-dwelling plant creatures that are

rooted in place, unable to move. In spite of this, they are

effective predators, using their temptation spores to

draw creatures close to them, then using their vines and

powerful bite to draw the creature close and swallow it

whole.

The body of an alraune resembles an immense flower

surrounded by a quartet of large vines, rooted into the

ground. The style and stigma of the flower, however,

have developed to look rather like a voluptuous female

humanoid from the waist up, including arms, a face, and

even “hair” in the form of very thin, harmless vines. The

alraune can speak through its stigma’s mouth, see

through its eyes, and even use the stigma’s arms and

hands for ordinary tasks. The humanoid part of the

alraune is not necessary for the alraune, however

(though severing it does hurt). A severed alraune stigma

can be regrown over the course of a few weeks.

The petals of an alraune can fold up to cover the

alraune from about the shoulders down, giving off the

impression of a humanoid woman being eaten by a

carnivorous plant. At the base of the petals is the

alraune’s digestion chamber, in which food is slowly

dissolved and absorbed

Alraune

Large plant, true neutral

Armor Class 15 (natural armor)

Hit Points 162 (24d10+30)

Speed 0 ft.

Seduction DC 24; Satisfaction DC 16

STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

21 (+5)

6 (-2)

16 (+3)

5 (-3)

14 (+2)

19 (+4)

Skills Deception +8, Nature +1, Perception +6

Damage Vulnerability fire

Damage Resistances Bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from

nonmagical weapons

Condition Immunities blinded, deafened

Senses Blindsight 60 ft., passive Perception 16

Languages Common, Sylvan

Challenge 11 (7,200 XP)

Temptation Spores. The alraune constantly emits a sweet-smelling,

enticing cloud of spores that surrounds it out to 120 feet. All beasts,

humanoids, and giants entering this radius must succeed on a DC 15

Constitution saving throw or be Charmed by the alraune for 1 hour. The

creature can repeat this save whenever it takes damage. A creature that

successfully saves against an alraune’s temptation spores is imune to

that alraune’s temptation spores for 24 hours.

Actions

Multiattack. The Alraune makes four attacks, three with its vines and

one bite.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack. +9 to hit, reach 0 feet., one target. Hit: 14

(2d8+5) piercing damage. If the target is a creature, it is grappled

(escape DC 17). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained, and the

alraune can’t bite another target.

Vine. Melee Weapon Attack. +9 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 19

(4d6+5) bludgeoning damage. If the target is a creature, it is grappled

(escape DC 17). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained, and the

alraune can’t use this vine on another target. The alraune has 4 vines.

On its turn, the alraune can as a bonus action move a creature grappled

by one of its vines into its mouth, allowing the alraune to attempt to bite

or swallow it.

Swallow. The alraune makes one bite attack against a Medium or

smaller creature it is grappling. If the attack hits, the target takes the

bite’s damage, the target is swallowed, and the grapple ends. While

swallowed, the creature is blinded and restrained, it has total cover

against attacks and other effects outside the alraune, and it takes 14

(3d8) acid damage at the start of each of the alraune’s turns.

If the alraune takes 15 damage or more on a single turn from a creature

inside of it, the alraune must succeed on a DC 20 Constitution saving throw

at the end of that turn or regurgitate all swallowed creatures, which fall

prone in a space within 5 feet of the alraune. If the alraune dies, a

swallowed creature is no longer retrained and can escape the corpse by

using 10 feet of movement, exiting prone.

Domination Spores (3/day). The alraune releases a stream of spores,

targeting a single beast, humanoid, or giant creature within 30 feet. The

creature must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or be

affected as though by a dominate person spell.

over the course of several weeks.

Slothful Predators. Alraune are not particularly picky

in what they eat, having no preference for animals,

humanoids, or other creatures. A single medium-sized

creature can keep an alraune satisfied for weeks at a

time. During this time, alraune can be approached with

relatively little fear of being eaten. Alraune are also

happy to accept gifts of food rather than eating a live

creature. A placated or otherwise full alraune will allow

creatures to pass by it without trouble, or even

communicate and interact with it, as long as the alraune

does not think it is threatened.

While not fey themselves, alraune often form

friendships with dryads, nymphs, and other creatures of

fey, which are immune to the alraune’s temptation and

domination spores (and dryads don’t taste good,

anyway). Alraune with such friends are usually less

likely to eat humanoids, due to their friends helping

them get a steady, stable diet of animal meat.

Charmed Servants. Alraune are not particularly

intelligent, but their temptation spores do tend to lead to

a lot of creatures fawning over them, sometimes more

than the alraune can possibly eat. The charmed servants

furthermore often desire to shower the alraune with

gifts. Being simple creatures, alraune have little interest

in jewelry, flowers, or chocolates, but are greatly pleased

by gifts of meat. In return, alraune are happy enough to

please their charmed servants in whatever way they like,

even sexually. Alraune stigmas can even themselves be

stimulated, via “oral” sex with the stigma’s “mouth”,

although alraune cannot be impregnated in this or any

other way, instead releasing floating seeds and pollen

both once per year (several weeks apart, so as to prevent

self-pollination of their own seeds) which can grow into

new alraune over the course of several years. Exactly

why a plant creature that reproduces via pollination and

seeding can nevertheless be sexually stimulated is a

question that baffles scholars the world over.

The Quickest Way to the Heart. Offering an alraune

meat as part of a seduction check grants advantage on

the seduction check.

Demon: Zeroa

A zeroa –commonly known as a tentacle demon – is one

of the more feared creatures of the lower planes, despite

its relative weakness compared to many of the more

powerful demons such as balors and mariliths. They are

often found in the company of succubi/incubi, for

whom they act as guardians, pets, and debased fuck

toys.

Incessant Sex Machines. A zeroa has few desires other

than to grapple and invade targets. They are single-

minded in the pursuit of this goal, and of course, being

Chaotic Evil demons of the lower realms, don’t

particularly care if their victim is willing or not. Zeroa

will take advantage of their tentacle’s elastic nature to

ensure that their victims survive for as long as possible,

until the zeroa has exhausted itself. Then they will

usually kill their victim (either directly via crushing it

with its tentacles; or indirectly through fucking it to

death) and move on, although some zeroa might spare

their victims so that they can be raped again in the

future.

Servants of the Succubi. Zeroa will generally rape

anything they can overpower, but their simple minds

and sexual desires mean that succubi/incubi can target

them

with their Charm ability, despite zeroa not being

humanoids. As such, though succubi/incubi are

physically much weaker than zeroa, tentacle demons

nevertheless are often their victims. The succubus gets a

pet which it can “let off the leash” on victims, or get

fucked by herself if she desires.

Offspring. Women who survive a zeroa’s assault will

usually become pregnant with cambions, half-fiends.

Although these offspring will often have cosmetic

features that tell of their ancestry, they are not

statistically different from standard cambions. Zeroa

themselves can also be impregnated under the right

circumstances, but care little for their own offspring and

usually abandon them.

Demon, Zeroa

Large fiend, chaotic evil

Armor Class 16 (natural armor)

Hit Points 151 (12d10+85)

Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft.

Seduction DC 16; Satisfaction DC 20

STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

18 (+4)

14 (+2)

20 (+5)

3 (-4)

9 (-1)

4 (-3)

Skills Perception +2, Stealth +5

Damage Resistances cold, fire, lightning

Damage Immunities poison

Condition Immunities poisoned

Senses darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 12

Languages understands Abyssal but cannot speak

Challenge 7 (2,900 XP)

Elastic. At will, a zeroa can cause its tentacles to expand or shrink. This

has no effect on its damage, but it does allow them to penetrate any

orifice without causing damage to its victim, should it choose to.

Enduring. A zeroa can have sex for a number of minutes equal to its

Constitution score before it needs to make a satisfaction check.

Insatiable. Satisfaction checks made against the zeroa have

disadvantage.

Actions

Multiattack. The zeroa makes four attacks, one with each of its

tentacles.

Tentacle. Melee Weapon Attack. +7 to hit, reach 15 ft., one target. Hit:

12 (2d8+3) bludgeoning damage. If the target is Medium or smaller, it is

grappled (escape DC 14) and restrained until the grapple ends. The

zeroa has four tentacles, each of which can grapple one target.

Nymph

Nymphs are nature’s embodiment of physical beauty,

and the guardians of the sacred places of the wild. They

are so unbearably lovely that even a glimpse of one can

blind an onlooker. Nymphs hate evil and any who

would despoil the wilds for any reason.

Wild and Mercurial. A nymph embodies both great

beauty and fearsome danger. She can be kind and

graceful to mortals who revere the wild places of the

world, but also quick to strike against mortals who take

more than they need or who treat nature thoughtlessly.

Animals of all types flock to a nymph, ignoring the

presence of natural enemies; injured beasts know that

the nymph will tend their wounds.

Solitary Guardians. A nymph often has a place that

she hold sacred and defends against intrusion – a grove,

a pool, or sometimes a hilltop or peak. She uses her

animal allies and abilities to drive intruders away from

the spot she defends, preferring to use non-lethal

attacks first and resorting to deadly attacks only when

faced by evil creatures or intruders who reply to her

efforts with deadly attacks of their own.

Nymph

Medium fey, chaotic good

Armor Class 19

Hit Points 39 (6d8+6)

Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.

Seduction DC 24; Satisfaction DC 12

STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

8 (-1)

17 (+3)

12 (+1)

10 (+0)

14 (+2)

22 (+6)

Skills Animal Handling +3, Acrobatics +5, Deception +8, Medicine +4,

Performance +8, Persuasion +8

Senses Darkvision 30 ft., passive Perception 12

Languages Common, Sylvan

Challenge 3 (700 XP)

Unearthly Grace. The nymph adds her Charisma bonus to all her saving

throws, and as a bonus to armor class.

Blinding Beauty. All humanoids within 30 feet of the nymph must make

a DC 16 Constitution saving throw. Those that fail the save become

blinded for 1d6 hours. A creature that makes its save against this ability

is immune to the ability from the same nymph for 24 hours. The nymph

can suppress or resume this ability as an action.

Actions

Unarmed Strike. Melee Weapon Attack. +1 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target.

Hit: 1 bludgeoning damage

Stunning Glance. The nymph locks eyes with a humanoid within 30 feet.

The target must make a DC 16 Constitution saving throw or become

stunned for 1d6 round.

Philotes

Philotes (both singular and plural) are rarely-

encountered celestials that are the divine counterparts to

succubi and incubi. They can be found in the service of

couatls, devas, planetars, and solars, as well as many

good-aligned deities. Notable numbers of philotes are

also known to serve Pistis Sophia of the Celestial

Hebdomad, Sathia of the Five Companions, and in the

court of Queen Morwel.

Philotes can take either male or female form, though

many prefer one over the other. While traveling through

the mortal realm, they typically take on a mortal guise,

often of a stunningly beautiful humanoid of any race.

They may appear as wandering scholars, prostitutes

with hearts of gold, sexual advisors, or any number of

other forms.

Embodiments of Love. Philotes are celestial

embodiments of love, specifically the love between

mortal beings, and they exemplify the expression of that

love in any form, including sex. When they enter the

mortal world, it is typically with the intention of

promoting or salvaging love. A philotes might be

attempting to salvage a marriage, help bring two star-

crossed lovers together, renew a jaded person’s faith in

the existence of love, or punish a being that is

attempting to stop the spread of love. Philotes are not

violent by nature – very much believing in the credo of

“make love, not war” – but if pressed are capable of

defending themselves or others.

Love in All its Forms. Philotes are sometimes

mischaracterized as “sex angels”. However, that is not

their role or purpose. A philotes will not simply put out

for a summoner or show up to “reward” a hero with sex

for no reason. For a philotes, sex is an expression of love,

and that is the more important feeling. A philotes

approaching a married couple who’s love is fraying may

attempt to seduce both mortals, for example, but the

goal of the philotes is not the sex itself, but rather using

the physical actions of sex to remind the mortal of the

love they once shared and help them renew it. This isn’t

to say that philotes, left to their own devices, are chaste –

far from it, a philotes with no particular goal at the

moment may well indulge in physical pleasure. Even

then, however, the sex the philotes has is just as much

about bringing satisfaction, and perhaps a small bit of

love, to their partners as much as it is about “scratching

the itch”.

Enemies of the Succubi. Unsurprisingly, philotes are

enemies of succubi/incubi. The fact that both philotes

and succubi are capable of hiding their true form, but

are not capable of innately seeing through such

disguises, complicates matters immensely. Philotes and

succubi often wage secret battles against one another

where they are aware of the other’s presence, but not

certain who the other is. This is further complicated by

the fact that their nature often means they would prefer

to attempt to redeem or purify the succubus before

killing it, which succubi can take advantage of to banish

their foes back to the celestial realms. On the other hand,

philotes are typically more dangerous and determined

combatants, easily able to overpower a succubus.

Philotes

Medium celestial (shapechanger), neutral good

Armor Class 15 (natural armor)

Hit Points 78 (12d8+24)

Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

Seduction DC 23; Satisfaction DC 15

STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

8 (-1)

17 (+3)

15 (+2)

13 (+1)

16 (+3)

20 (+5)

Saving Throws Int +5, Wis +7, Cha +9

Skills Insight +7, Perception +7, Performance +9, Persuasion +9, Stealth

Damage Resistances radiant; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing

damage from nonmagical

Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened

Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 17

Languages Celestial, Common, telepathy 60 ft.

Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Angelic Weapons. The Philotes’ weapon attacks are magical. When the

philotes hits with any weapon, the weapon deals an extra 2d8 radiant

damage (included in the attack).

Shapechanger. The philotes can use its action to polymorph into a Small

or Medium humanoid, or back into its true form. Without wings, the

philotes loses its flying speed. Other than its size and speed, its statistics

are the same in each form. Any equipment it is wearing or carrying isn't

transformed. It reverts to its true form if it dies.

Telepathic Bond. The philotes ignores the range restriction on its

telepathy when communicating with a creature it has charmed. The two

don't even need to be on the same plane of existence.

Magic Resistance. The philotes has advantage on saving throws against

spells and other magical effects.

Actions

Whip. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 5

(1d4 + 3) slashing damage plus 9 (2d8) radiant damage.

Charm. One humanoid the philotes can see within 30 feet of it must

succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or be magically charmed for 1

day. The charmed target obeys the philotes’ verbal or telepathic

commands. If the target suffers any harm or receives a suicidal

command, it can repeat the saving throw, ending the effect on a success.

If the target successfully saves against the effect, or if the effect on it

ends, the target is immune to this philotes’ Charm for the next 24 hours.

The philotes can have only one target charmed at a time. If it charms

another, the effect on the previous target ends.

Invigorating Kiss. The philotes kisses a wikking creature. The kiss heals

32 (5d10+5) hit points, or bestows that many temporary hit points if the

creature is at full health.

Etherealness. The philotes magically enters the Ethereal Plane from the

Material Plane, or vice versa.

MALCANTHET

As seductive as she is dangerous, Malcanthet is the

patron of the hedonistic, the lustful, and those who

would use their beauty and magic charms to control and

ruin those around them. The Queen of Succubi’s beauty

is so perversely intense that it is said it can drain the life

from creatures who even try and touch her. She can

control creatures in a multitude of ways – honeyed

words, innate magical ability, and the sting of her tail.

Like all succubi, she technically can be male or female at

will, but Malcanthet seems to prefer a female form.

Although once considered to be a Demon Prince of

similar stature to Graz’zt, Orcus, or Demogorgon,

Malcanthet has recently undergone a slight change of

heart. The chaos of the Abyss grew boring to her, and so

Malcanthet has been seen moving among the Lower

Planes, spreading her influence and creating minor

demesnes within Hades, Gehenna, and even the Nine

Hells, though her principle domain is still Shendilavri.

Malcanthet is the sometimes-lover of Demogorgon,

with whom she has occasionally sired things best left

unmentioned. She has had dalliances with most of the

other Demon Princess and other major denizens of the

Lower Planes, though always as trysts that were

engineered by the Queen of Succubi to gain some favor

or prize. Conversely, Malcanthet has a longstanding

enmity with Graz’zt. Malcanthet maintains that she

spurned Graz’zt for being unworthy of her attentions

eons ago when he tried to court her, and that his

wounded pride created the legendary rift between the

two. Graz’zt, of course, maintains the opposite. In any

event, the conflict between these two is less one of open

warfare and more one of constant scheming on how best

to upset and ruin the other’s realms and plans.

MALCANTHET’S LAIR

Malcanthet’s lair is her palace on Shendilavri, the 570th

lair of the Abyss, an exquisitely beautiful lair that serves

her every carnal desire.. She is served in her palace by

numerous incubi and succubi, along with a cabal of 13

cambion bards called the Radiant Sisters. The songs of

the Radiant Sisters can be heard throughout

Malcanthet’s palace at all times, haunting and erotic

melodies that can have unwelcome effects on those

whom Malcanthet has not invited into her realm.

LAIR ACTIONS

On initiative count 20 (losing initiative ties), Malcanthet

can take a lair action to cause one of the following

effects; he can’t use the same effect two rounds in a row:

 Malcanthet casts the charm person spell on every

creature of her choice in the lair that she is aware of.

She needn’t see a creature to target it.

 Malcanthet causes horrific music to play throughout

the palace. Each humanoid creature is affected as

though by a dissonant whispers spell casts by

Malcanthet.

REGIONAL EFFECTS

The region containing Malcanthet’s lair is warped by her

magic, creating one or more of the following effects.

 Terrain features become subtly (or not so subtly) erotic

within 1 mile of the lair.

 Humanoid creatures within 6 miles of Malcanthet’s

lair become particularly susceptible to erotic

suggestion. All seduction checks against them are

made with advantage. Additionally, humanoids who

were completely homosexual or completely

heterosexual become generally so instead.

 Malcanthet can telepathically communicate with any

creature within 1 mile of her lair, as long as she is

aware of the creature’s presence. She does not need to

know its specific location. Malcanthet typically uses

this trait to send erotic suggestions and images to the

recipient.

Malcanthet

Medium fiend (shapechanger), neutral evil

Armor Class 20 (natural armor)

Hit Points 237 (26d8+120)

Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

Seduction DC 38; Satisfaction DC 28

STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

16 (+3)

25 (+7)

21 (+5)

23 (+6)

20 (+5)

29 (+9)

Saving Throws Dexterity +14, Charisma +16

Skills Deception +16, Insight +12, Perception +12, Persuasion +16,

Stealth +14

Damage Resistances cold, fire, lighting

Damage Immunities poison; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing

damage from nonmagical

Condition Immunity charmed, exhaustion, frightened, poisoned.

Senses Darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 22

Languages all, telepathy 120 ft.

Challenge 24 (62,000 XP)

Innate Spellcasting. Malcanthet’s spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell

save DC 24). She can innately cast the following spells, requiring no

material components:

At will: charm person, detect magic, dispel magic, dissonant whispers,

enthrall

3/day each: command, counterspell, dominate person, suggestion,

telekinesis, teleport

1/day each: confusion, dominate monster

Legendary Resistance (3/day). If Malcanthet fails a saving throw, she

can chose to succeed instead.

Magic Resistance. Malcanthet has advantage on saving throws against

spells and other magical effects.

Magic Weapons. Malcanthet’s weapon attacks are magical.

Shapechanger. Malcanthet can use her action to polymorph into a Small

or Medium humanoid, or back into her true form. Without wings, she

loses her flying speed. Other than her size and speed, her statistics are

the same in each form. Any equipment she is wearing or carrying isn't

transformed. She reverts to its true form if she dies.

Telepathic Bond. Malcanthet ignores the range restriction on her

telepathy when communicating with a creature she has charmed. The

two don't even need to be on the same plane of existence.

Actions

Multiattack. Malcanthet attacks with her claw twice or makes one claw

attack and one sting attack.

Claw (Fiend Form Only). Melee Weapon Attack: +14 to hit, reach 5 ft.,

one target. Hit: 21 (4d6+7) slashing damage.

Sting (Fiend Form Only). Melee Weapon Attack: +14 to hit, reach 10 ft.,

one target. Hit: 14 (2d6+7) piercing damage plus 7 (2d6) poison damage,

and the target must make a DC 20 Constitution saving throw. On a

failure, the victim is affected as though by a dominate monster spell for 1

hour.

Malcanthet’s Charm. One humanoid Malcanthet can see within 60 feet

of her must succeed on a DC 24 Wisdom saving throw or be magically

charmed for 9 days. The charmed target obeys Malcanthet’s verbal or

telepathic commands. If the target suffers any harm or receives a suicidal

command, it can repeat the saving throw, ending the effect on a success.

If the target successfully saves against the effect, or if the effect on it

ends, the target is immune to Malcanthet's charm for the next 24 hours.

Malcanthet can have up to nine targets charmed at a time. If she charms

a tenth, the effect ends on the charm that has been maintained the

longest.

Draining Kiss. Malcanthet kisses a creature charmed by it or a willing

creature. The target must make a DC 24 Constitution saving throw

against this magic, taking 59 (9d10+9) psychic damage on a failed save,

or half as much damage on a successful one. The target's hit point

maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the damage taken. This

reduction lasts until the target finishes a long rest. The target dies if this

effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0.

Etherealness. Malcanthet magically enters the Ethereal Plane from the

Material Plane, or vice versa.

Reactions

Reflect Enchantment. When an enchantment spell targets Malcanthet

and she succeeds on her saving throw, that spell is reflected back upon

the caster as if Malcanthet had cast the spell herself (although it still uses

the original caster’s spell save DC).

Legendary Actions

Malcanthet can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options

below. Only one legendary action can be used at a time and only at the

end of another creature’s turn. Malcanthet regains legendary actions at

the start of her turn.

Charm. Malcanthet uses her Charm ability.

Etherealness (Costs 2 Actions). Malcanthet magically enters the

Ethereal Plane from the Material Plane, or vice versa.

Summon Succubus (costs 3 actions). Malcanthet automatically

summons 1d4+2 succubi.

APPENDIX: THE BARD’S CHECKLIST

MONSTERS

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Aarakocra

Aboleth

Angels

Deva

Planetar

Solar

Azer

Banshee

Behir

Beholder

Death tyrant

Spectator

Bugbear

Chief

Bullywug

Cambion

Centaur

Chimera

Cloaker

Couatl

Cyclops

Death Knight

Demon

Balor

Barlgura

Chasme

Dretch

Glabrezu

Goristro

Hezrou

Manes

Marilith

Nalfeshnee

Quasit

Shadow demon

Vrock

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Demons (continued)

Yochlol

Devils

Barbed devil

Bearded devil

Bone devil

Chain devil

Erinyes

Horned devil

Ice devil

Imp

Pit fiend

Spined devil

Doppleganger

Dracolich

Adult blue dracolich

Dragon, shadow

Young red shadow dragon

Dragon

Black, ancient

Black, adult

Black, young

Blue, ancient

Blue, adult

Blue, young

Green, ancient

Green, adult

Green, young

Red, ancient

Red, adult

Red, young

White, ancient

White, adult

White, young

Brass, ancient

Brass, adult

Brass, young

Bronze, ancient

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Dragons (continued)

Bronze, adult

Bronze, young

Copper, ancient

Copper, adult

Copper, young

Gold, ancient

Gold, adult

Gold, young

Silver, ancient

Silver, adult

Silver, young

Dragon Turtle

Drider

Dryad

Duergar

Elves, drow

Drow

Drow elite warrior

Drow mage

Drow priestess of Lolth

Empyrean

Ettin

Faerie Dragon

Flumph

Fomorian

Galeb Duhr

Gargoyle

Genies

Dao

Djinni

Efreeti

Marid

Ghost

Giants

Cloud

Fire

Frost

Hill

Stone

Storm

Gith

Githyanki warrior

Githyanki knight

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Gith (continued)

Githzerai monk

Githzerai zerth

Gnolls

Gnoll

Gnoll pack lord

Gnoll fang of Yeenoghu

Gnome, deep (svirfneblin)

Goblins

Goblin

Goblin boss

Grimlock

Hags

Green hag

Night hag

Sea hag

Half-Dragon

Half-red dragon veteran

Harpy

Hobgoblins

Hobgoblin

Hobgoblin captain

Hobgoblin warlord

Hook Horror

Invisible Stalker

Jackalwere

Kenku

Kobolds

Winged kobold

Kobold

Kraken

Kuo-toa

Kuo-toa archpriest

Kuo-toa whip

Lamia

Lich

Lizardfolk

Lizardfolk shaman

Lizardfolk king/queen

Lycanthropes

Werebear

Wereboar

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Lycanthropes (continued)

Wererat

Weretiger

Werewolf

Magmin

Manticore

Medusa

Mephits

Dust mephit

Ice mephit

Magma mephit

Mud mephit

Smoke mephit

Steam mephit

Merfolk

Merrow

Mind Flayer

Minotaur

Mummy

Mummy lord

Nagas

Spirit naga

Guardian naga

Nightmare

Nothic

Ogres

Ogre

Half-ogre

Oni

Orcs

Orc

Orc war chief

Orc eye of Gruumsh

Orog

Pegasus

Pixie

Pseudodragon

Quaggoth

Rakshasa

Revenant

Sahuagin

Sahuagin priestess

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Sahuagin (continued)

Sahuagin baron

Salamanders

Fire snake

Salamander

Satyr

Sphinxes

Androsphinx

Gynosphinx

Sprite

Succubus/Incubus

Thri-keen

Treant

Troglodyte

Umber Hulk

Unicorn

Vampire

Vampire spawn

Water Weird

Xorn

Yeti

Abominable yeti

Yuan-ti

Abomination

Malison

Pureblood

Yugoloths

Arcanoloth

Mezzoloth

Nycaloth

Ultroloth

Miscellaneous Creatures

Awakened shrub

Awakened tree

Blink dog

Winter wolf

Worg

NONPLAYER CHARACTERS

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Acolyte

Archmage

Assassin

Bandit

Bandit Captain

Berserker

Commoner

Cultist

Cult Fanatic

Druid

Gladiator

Guard

Knight

Mage

Noble

Priest

Scout

Spy

Thug

Tribal Warrior

Veteran

SPECIFIC NPCS

Creature

Seduction

Satisfaction

Acererak

Baphomet

Demogorgon*

Fraz-Urb’luu

Graz’zt

Imix

Jubilex

Maegera

Ogrémoch

Olhydra

Orcus

Strahd von Zarovich**

Tiamat

Yan-C-Bin

Yeenoghu

Zuggtmoy

Each of Demogorgon’s two heads must be seduced

separately, since each has its own distinct personality.

If Strahd believes the character attempting to seduce him to

be a reincarnation of his beloved Tatyana, then the

character has advantage on his or her seduction check.